“The other day, when you touched my arm, you felt it too, didn’t you?”
She looked away from him, across the room.
“Look at me, dammit.”
Her head snapped back, and her eyes met his.
“Renie, I swear to God, this is the most important conversation I’ll ever have with you. You gotta pay attention to me. You’re killin’ me. Do you even realize it?”
She shook her head again.
“Do you know how ripped up I am about this?”
No response, not even head movement.
“That’s why I got drunk the other night. When you touched my arm, I felt it throughout my whole body. I almost pulled you into my arms and kissed you then. I wanted to so bad.”
She closed her eyes.
“How long have you felt it, Renie?”
That made her open her eyes.
“Do you realize that you’re the only person I tell everything to? Don’t you realize how important you are to me? I can’t go more than a couple of hours without wanting to tell you something.”
He did send her random texts all day. She assumed he got lonely out on the road. Most of the guys traveled with somebody else but he never had. He said it messed with his head too much.
Once, after her mother’s first rodeo, Renie rode home with Billy. He told her she was the only person he’d ever let ride with him—ever. He also told her he liked having her with him.
“You’re my best friend.”
It didn’t surprise her to hear him say so. It was part of their problem, Billy saw her as his friend.
“We can stay friends, Billy.”
“Is that what you want?”
She shrugged. “Long history between us. Don’t know if we want to mess it up.”
“Damn, there’s a lot I want to mess up with you, but not our history.”
“I don’t know what that means, Billy. Your friendship means the world to me, it always has. I guess in a way you’re my best friend too.” She grinned. “If you ever tell Blythe I said so, I’ll deny it.”
He didn’t smile. He was close enough to her that she heard every breath he took. He stared at her, and she didn’t look away.
“How could I have been so blind?”
She was glad he’d been blind. It saved her the awkward conversation they were having now. If Billy had told her he didn’t “feel that way” about her, it would’ve destroyed her. It was better believing he didn’t know how she felt, so he never pushed her away.
“How long?”
“Billy, don’t.”
He went into the kitchen. He wasn’t only asking how long she’d felt this thing between them, but how long had he been denying it. Memories flooded back to him faster than his brain could process them. She was in his every memory, sometimes in the background, but always there.
He stood in the kitchen with his hands on the edge of the counter, wondering what in the hell he should do next. He wanted to take her back into that bedroom and never leave.
Renie came around the corner and leaned against the wall. “Let’s put that last couple of days behind us and go back to how we were.”