I was certain my cheeks flushed like hers often did. “I thought you were asleep.”
“I knew you were there.”
Rebel smiled in that way that nearly sent me off my trolley. I wanted this woman more than any other, yet I was the one hesitating. She stood close enough to touch, so I did. I cupped her cheek with my palm and stared into her eyes. “Would you like me to warm the bath?”
“Maybe a shower would be better. I might fall asleep in the tub.”
I nodded, took her hand, and led her back to the bed. “Take off the rest of your clothes while I get things ready.”
“Wait,” she said when I tried to release her hand. “Will you join me?”
I couldn’t explain how conflicted I felt, even to myself. I wanted to fuck her enough to throw her onto the bed, rip her clothes from her body, and thrust my raging cock into her wetness. Yet, I didn’t. Or was it that I couldn’t? For maybe the first time in my life, my brain was doing the thinking rather than any other part of my anatomy.
Rebel would give her body to me willingly. She had, in fact. But I wanted more. I wanted to be the man who put her first. She was dead-on-her-feet tired, and tomorrow she’d have to be back at the dining hall before dawn.
“Never mind.” She tried to pull away, but this time, I held her hand more tightly.
“I want you, little Rebel. Make no mistake about that. But if we do this tonight, I won’t want to let you sleep. I’ll want your body in every way I imagined taking it. I’ll wring you out and then take even more, because I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I’ll never get enough of you.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly as I brought my lips to hers. “Let me take care of you another way, sweetness.”
Of everything I said, or didn’t say, those words appeared to affect her more than any other. Her eyes filled with tears, and she tried to turn away, but I wasn’t having it. I didn’t only want her body, I wanted her words, her feelings, I wanted it all—I wanted her soul.
I held her face with my hand and forced her to look into my eyes. “Tell me why that made you cry.”
“It’s been a long time…”
“Go on. Tell me.”
“This is hard.”
“Do it anyway.”
“It’s been a long time since anyone has taken care of me.” When she leaned forward and buried her face in my shoulder, I let her. I could feel the wetness of her tears.
“Then, let me.”
“I don’t know how.”
“I’ll show you.” Even though we were standing next to it, I picked her up like I had a few minutes ago and set her on the bed. I removed her clothes as gently as I had taken off her boots and socks when she was sleeping. “Wait here,” I said, grabbing the throw from the end of the bed and wrapping it around her shoulders.
Rather than start the shower, I refilled the bath. If she fell asleep, like she predicted she might, I’d be there to hold her. I took off my clothes, wrapped a towel around my waist, and went back into the bedroom.
This time she hadn’t fallen asleep; she was far too emotional to let herself. I understood that. Before I did anything else, I had to reassure her but in a way that also let her know that tonight wouldn’t be about fucking.
I kissed her forehead, eyelids, and lips before I picked her up again and carried her to the bath.
“I can walk. I’m not that tired.”
“I want to feel you in my arms.” I rested her on the edge, checked the water, and helped her in.
“You’re something, Edge. It’s a wonder that there aren’t women lined up at the gate, begging for more after treatment like this.” She didn’t look at me when she said it, which only reinforced the idea that she was putting up walls to keep me at a distance where she felt comfortable. My guess was that she used sex in the same way. Sex, she could control. Emotion, she couldn’t.
Without responding, I eased into the water and sat behind her. In the same way I had earlier, I poured body wash into my hand and rubbed it into her shoulders. Within seconds, her head fell forward as she allowed herself to enjoy letting me ease her tired muscles.
I continued washing every part of her body, but chastely. There were times I sensed she was about to say something, perhaps like the quip she had earlier, but each time, I shushed her.
When I finished, I lifted her limp body from the water, dried her with a warm towel, and carried her to the bed, thankful that she didn’t protest with every step.