“You’re a bit up yourself, mate.”
He shrugged as though that wasn’t news.
“Why are you really here, Rile?”
“What’s on your mind?”
“You’re answering my question with a question.”
He nodded. “It’s evident there’s something you want to discuss with me.”
I shook my head and laughed.
“I’m here, Grinder. Speak.”
I stared into my beer and then looked up at him. “Okay. What if one of us wants to be in a relationship? A long-term one?”
“One of us is—Decker is married.”
“You know what I mean. Edge, you, me?”
“Why did you join the Royal Army?”
“To protect and serve,” I answered without hesitation.
“Perhaps if you never saw yourself married, you might have considered the priesthood, then?”
“Where are you going with this?”
He sat back in his chair when the barmaid returned with his pint, and then once again watched her as she walked away.
“You, of all people, should be aware of how precious life is. You didn’t ask, but the reason I joined SIS was because I believe every man and woman should be able to live their life free of tyranny, free of persecution, free of fear.”
I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed that, like he said, I hadn’t asked.
“What do you want out of life, Grinder? Work alone? Is that the only way you see yourself? You come from a nice family, no?”
“A very nice family.”
“Why wouldn’t that be something you’d want?”
I turned my head when someone familiar caught my eye. Walking in the hotel’s entrance was the only woman with whom I’d ever imagined building a life. As my sister had warned, she wasn’t alone. The man she was with, Paolo, had his arm around her shoulders. He said something, she laughed, he pulled her close, and kissed her cheek.
Seeing her happy should’ve made me happy as well. It didn’t. Instead, it felt like the bottom had just dropped out of my life, sending me plummeting into a hole I’d never be able to crawl out of.
15
Pia
I felt him before I saw him. Mylos was here. I turned my head, just slightly, and saw him seated at a table in the bar with another man whose back was to me. He didn’t look up; I didn’t know whether he’d seen me walk in.
“Everything okay?” Paolo asked.
“Sì. I thought I saw an old friend.” I let my gaze rest on the man who’d held my heart since we were both sixteen years old. Seeing him here, now, was like an omen.
As I let Paolo lead me away, I turned my head once more and looked over my shoulder. Mylos’ head was raised and our eyes met.
“Paolo, mi scusi.” I pointed in the direction of the ladies’ room. I walked away slowly, afraid to look behind me a second time.