“Mantis—”
“Think about it.”
—:—
What was he doing to her, and why was he doing it? Was it only because she was with Dutch now? If he won her back, would he take her for granted and cast her aside like he had before? Would he take on the next mission that came his way once he knew she’d be waiting in his bed when, and if, he came home?
She couldn’t do it. Not again.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry,” she heard him say.
“What?”
“I shouldn’t have touched your hand…that way.”
She waited for him to continue.
“What I’m proposing is that we do this as friends. I promise not to cross the line again.”
He’d barely sneaked a toe over the line, but she knew what he meant. If she let him help her, they had to define boundaries and never cross them.
“Apology accepted.”
“Does that mean you’ll also accept my help?”
“It means I’ll think about it.” She looked over at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. “Mantis?”
“Yeah?” he answered.
“I appreciate the offer so much.”
“But…”
“No buts. I said I’d think about it. We don’t even know what’s involved yet.”
They were both quiet the rest of the flight. As much as she didn’t want to think about it, the truth was, Mantis had broken her heart, and Dutch had been there to pull her through a very dark time of her life.
It didn’t matter that she didn’t feel the same passion for him that she felt for Mantis; she couldn’t betray him. No more than she could risk Mantis breaking her heart all over again when the day came that she asked him not to go, but he left anyway.
The last time he had, she’d gone to a bar alone; something she never did. One glass of wine turned into another, and before she knew it, she’d polished an entire bottle on her own. Worse, she hadn’t eaten all day.
She hadn’t blacked out, but what had happened that night was fuzzy. By the time Dutch arrived, she’d ordered the first glass of her second bottle, and by the time they left, they’d both had a lot more to drink.
Both of them drunk, she’d cried on his shoulder while Dutch had professed his undying, albeit unrequited, love for her.
She shook her head, wishing she hadn’t left the house that night as much as she wished Mantis hadn’t either.
—:—
It was as though Mantis could hear Alegria’s thoughts, and each one was like a knife in his heart—one he’d put there himself. What had once been easy between them never would be again. They’d have moments, but a few minutes later, she’d remember that he’d left her when she asked him not to, and all the hurt would rise back to the surface. How many times could he say he was sorry?
Mantis shook his head, acknowledging to himself that he’d never actually apologized, because he still wasn’t sure he was sorry.
He wanted her back, though. Was it because she was with Dutch? Or was it because he’d finally gotten to the point in his life where he believed he might want the same things she did? The most important word in that thought was might. Even now he wasn’t certain.
“Alegria,” he murmured.
“What?”