“Damn man, another personal assistant? You are too damn pretty for your own good. Ria loves the stories. What did the latest one do?”
Rolling my eyes, I am annoyed at the humor he finds in my personal assistant predicament. “The usual, she dropped enough innuendo I was choking on it. After I ignored her telling me she was not wearing panties she decided to show me.”
A snort of laughter.
“When I had enough and dragged my head of HR up to talk to her, we walked in to find her naked on my desk. Since she was so fucking immodest, I threw her out of my office without her clothes. Last I heard, she rode the elevator down two floors and walked through human resources naked.”
The idiot is laughing like a fucking hyena. I hope he chokes. “Leo, you are one mean sonofabitch.”
“So I’ve been told many times before. Do you know anything about Michael Lynch or Alexa Clark?”
“Hire her now if she managed to put with him for longer than five minutes. Lynch has paid out more money in sexual harassment and assault cases than the NBA. I have no idea how Ernest Lynch, one of the nicest men I’ve ever met raised such a scumbag.
“Alexa, I’ve only met her once. It was at a dinner, we chatted. She seemed nice, a little shy, pretty in a modest way. Ernest spoke highly of her, called her a treasure. The best secretary he’d ever had, trustworthy and a hard worker. He said she was extremely intelligent that she should be doing more than setting appointments and creating reports. If you don’t hire her, let me know. Alexa’s the kind of assistant I know two people who are looking right now would want.”
Reviewing her file, the same remarks are on the reference checks Natalie already completed. I look at the marriage certificate and wonder where Natalie got it. It’s smudged, something about it looks off, maybe it was a fax. “I am looking through her file now. From everything here, it would appear she is the one.”
“Good, the never-ending search for a replacement to Victoria is due to be up. I’ll see you Friday.”
I end the call. My email indicator goes off. I have managed to accrue three urgent emails in six minutes. Setting Alexa’s file aside, I focus on work.
2
It's quiet in the office, then again, it’s just after nine in the morning. Mikey loathed the time before noon the way cats loathed baths. He only came in before noon if there was a meeting that he didn’t schedule he needed to attend. When my cell phone rings, my heart starts pounding.
It’s Natalie. "Yeah."
"Leo wants to interview you today. What time can you be here?"
Crap, my stomach twists at the idea of actually going through with it. It’s one thing to discuss over more vodka than tonic and too much pizza, something completely different without the alcoholic haze of justification. He'll know.
"Alexa? This will work, I made up a fake marriage certificate and a Facebook page for Felix. Don't freak out. He wants to believe it. Think of it, two years of putting up with Mikey is two years too many. On top of that, you’ll have the kind of salary that will have your condo paid off in a few years not decades."
Don’t freak out, yeah right. "Okay, since today is Wednesday it's golfing day for Mikey. There’s nothing on his calendar. He might not even come in. I never know with him though. How late can you schedule me?"
"Usually Leo prefers seven."
"Seven is perfect. I can run home to change. Can you give me his old assistant's phone number?"
"Okay, seven it is. Victoria's info? Um, I don’t know that's losing my job territory. Hold on, she's on Facebook right now, let me message her."
I can't stop myself from looking around to make sure no one can hear me which is stupid considering I'm in the quietest area. Mikey made sure he was out of the middle of the action, the better for people not to see how little he worked.
"Okay, Victoria's cool with it. Here's her number. Why do you want to talk to her?
"Because I want to. I'm not a hundred percent sure I'm taking the job." The office phone rings. "My work line is ringing, I have to go. I'll talk to you later."
"Michael Lynch's office, how may I help you?"
"Alexa, I'm not going to be in today, something came up. That something would be my cock and my wife being out of town. Party at Mikey's place. Want to come over, chubby?"
"I'll note it. Anything else today, sir?"
"Nah, you enjoy the office being as empty as your life, you frigid bitch."
I don’t even blink, I’ve become so used to his insults it doesn’t really register. Mikey being out of the office changes my plans for the better. I dial the number for Victoria.
"Hello?"