She murmured a yes and disconnected the call. Her legs gave out and she was on top of her desk. Closing her eyes she fought the lump in her throat, stop it, the doctor was sure it was nothing. Her memories of her aunt Patty had been fuzzy, she’d been almost ten years older than Carrie’s mother but Carrie did remember the arguments and her mother’s tears. Her aunt had been diagnosed with cervical cancer at only thirty one and dead by the time she was thirty four. Carrie’s mother had fought with her own mother, saying she couldn’t drop everything and run back to Iowa. Carrie had known the tears were because it was a lie. Her mother simply hated Iowa and was terrified of being stuck there if she went back. Carrie’s mother hadn’t even gone to the funeral, the next year she met the twin’s father. Often, Carrie thought it was her sister’s death that had pushed her mother into a relationship that was all wrong just so she wouldn’t die alone as her sister had. Yet, Carrie remembered Patty had a husband but he’d died in the Gulf war and she’d never dated anyone again.
Now she only thought of her aunt when it came to filling out the history on medical sheets. She never added her grandmother’s heart had given out two years after Patty died because she was sure it had been due to loss and loneliness not high blood pressure. At the time it all started Carrie had been too young to take it all in but she remembered it had been the same thing of one abnormal and then back again and then another and then a biopsy and then calls had started in earnest. Her mother on the phone nearly every day, her mother yelling at her sister for not having taken better care of herself. Carrie couldn’t breathe when she thought about her own putting off a yearly pap for the last two years, simply because they were so damn uncomfortable and it wasn’t like there was a chance she had caught anything.
Had she made the same mistakes her aunt had made? Stupid, don’t do it, she told herself even as she brought up the computer and searched for everything she could on cervical cancer. It wasn’t pretty but it did settle her nerves and she realized why her doctor had mentioned HPV, she had none of the symptoms. She was worrying for nothing, nothing, she told herself. Then her phone rang and she jumped. The display told her it was the delivery company for cleaning supplies and she answered, forcing the tremble out of her voice.
It was going to be fine, she was only twenty six, she was healthy. Besides, she didn’t have a choice, she had two boys that needed her around for another few years. She wasn’t going anywhere. She scanned through her phone and wished she could call Rafael, just to hear his voice but didn’t dare. He’d know something was wrong and nothing was wrong. Nothing, the word firm, she opened the door to her office and smiled at Oliver, everything was fine.
When Rafael called that night, the same as he had every night since he had been gone she sighed with relief. Gathering the stack of overwhelming paperwork into a tidy pile she tossed it onto her bedside table and lay back with the phone. The only thing she was worried about was how long he’d want to stay on the phone. Her period had begun today and she didn’t feel well.
“Did I bother you?” He sounded concerned and she was so relieved she wanted to cry.
“No, sorry, just looking over some paperwork and didn’t realize it would take so long to get rid of and get comfortable.”
“So are you comfortable now?” His voice was deep and despite the heavy ache in her lower abdomen her breasts obeyed and then hurt like hell for doing it.
“I’m really sorry but I just started my period today and don’t feel good. You made my nipples hard and now they hurt. I should have warned you, this time of the month is hell for me.”
“Ahh, sweetheart don’t apologize. Did you talk with your doctor about that? From what I understand there are certain birth control pills that can help alleviate certain symptoms.”
“I did and even better she gave me a pill that means I can skip having a period all together. No more nights and days curled up in a ball of misery and yelling at the twins for no good reason. It sounded like bliss so I took her up on it.”
“Is that safe?” His concern is palpable.
“Rafael, of course it is. She’s a doctor and has been one for a long time. She knows what she’s talking about. The only reason you have a period is to know you aren’t pregnant. If you continue with the pill continuously the chances of failure are nil and you really don’t have to worry about pregnancy. Also, we won’t have to go a week without sex, except for when you go out of town again.” He was quiet and she knew he was thinking, “Rafael, thank you for the concern but I really like this plan. The pain I go through is just awful, it would be TMI and it would make you cringe. This is a good thing, for me and I trust the doctor.”
“If it is better for you then of course, as long as you’re safe. You never mentioned what doctor you were going to see. Was it a GP or an OB/GYN?”
“She’s an OB and I’m not going to give you her name so you can have her grades at school and the rest of her researched to within an inch of her life. It’s now become a very common thing to do, that’s it enough of that.
So you texted it’s going longer than planned?”
“Yes, it looks like another two days here at least. Only now the Los Angeles office has already been calling two days in a row which means I’m going to be met with a fucked up mess to clean up. The last time I was there they were glad to see the back of me so if they’re practically pleading for me to get there as soon as possible then it has to be bad.” He sighed.
“That doesn’t sound good at all. Why haven’t you put someone in charge of the offices you think can handle it? Is there no one you trust?”
“My grandfather wants this to be a family firm and only trusts family to be in charge. Considering how badly my father and uncle messed things I had hoped he would have learned his lesson. The plan was for Benito to gain the knowledge and head the Phoenix but if you’ll remember it didn’t quite work out.”
“You never said, where is your father and uncle?”
“My father is in the Houston office and will likely never step foot in Dallas again until he’s to attend my grandfather’s funeral. He does okay there but the framework was already in place from my grandfather. My uncle has retired to Hawaii, his wife is content with him out from under foot. He paints and actually seems to make enough to support himself.”
“So no chance of putting your dad in charge in Phoenix or Los Angeles?”
“No, and I think he wouldn’t want to go. He has a nice cozy life in Houston with a long-time girlfriend and he’s content.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize your parents are divorced.”
“They aren’t. My mother likes the name Castillo and the weight it carries in Dallas. She’s not letting my father off the hook, she refuses a divorce and half of his monthly pay goes to her. My grandfather isn’t happy with the situation but knows she could cost the family more with a divorce.”
“Wow, your mom is, um patient.”
Laughter came through and it was nice to hear him laugh. “You were going to use a bad word, Carrie. It’s okay, she is a bitch. Her only concern is being maintained the way she was promised. Her family’s fortunes took a turn for the worse not long after she married my father or I’m sure they would have divorced long ago.”
“Javier, says she’s like a little poodle who loves being pampered and looking pretty. I thought he was making fun, I guess not.”
A heavy sigh, “You’re going out to lunch with Javier?”
“Don’t be mad. It’s not a big deal, he seems almost as tense as you. He likes taking me out and making me laugh that’s all.”