Shaking his head, “Amelia, you don’t need to talk to strippers. He’ll teach you what he wants.”
“But I don’t want to disappoint him.”
“You won’t. Don’t overthink it. He’s more than happy to teach you how to please him. It’s a part of learning each other. If you start doing things you don’t want just to make him happy, it’s a recipe for disaster.”
I run my hand through my hair. As embarrassed as I am to have this conversation, with all of his experience and the way he’s always honest, I need to hear what he thinks. “I’m—I just don’t want to get this wrong. You’ve seen my track record with men. It’s even worse from where I was standing.”
“Because you let them have all the power, you never stood up to them until you couldn’t take anymore. You were too willing to give up to them completely, I had a long talk with Mary, she said you gave him a good fight. Don’t let things come to easy, he’ll appreciate it. He met you here, on your turf, where you don’t let anyone take you over. I can guarantee you it was a huge part of your appeal to him.
“You settled at three five; I would never have gone that high. We both know a lesser lawyer would have asked and gotten a million. I would have asked for three and settled at two five. It’s that backbone you have in the office that you need to keep when it comes men. You are beautiful, intelligent, and sweet when you want to be, with a smart mouth. Any man would be happy to have you, I’m not speaking as your brother either.
“A man who is strong and confident in who he is will not just be happy to have you, he’ll appreciate you and be proud of you. At work, you never accept less than you deserve and you never let anyone walk all over you. Chris recognized it, that’s who he wants. Be you, don’t worry about strippers and all that other shit.”
Taking a breath, I wonder if it could really be so easy. “He says I’m a pain in the ass.”
Ethan sighs. He grabs his neck, rolling his shoulders. “He hung up on me this morning.”
I fight not to smile. “I heard.”
“I deserved it.” My eyes widen to hear Ethan admit it. “If I’d been him I would have come through the phone. I wasn’t in the best mood.” He walks toward me, pulling the collar away from my neck. I can’t keep the blush from my cheeks as he sighs. “He’s still the best man I’ve ever met for you.”
He’s in the chair with another sigh as he runs a hand over his face. “Why do you say that?”
“Because he doesn’t care about your money, your connections, or how you can make him look good; all he wants is you. I’m not happy about his track record with women, but I’m not a hypocrite. It’s obvious he’s nuts about you. Give him some time, with a little patience you two will get there.”
Don’t cry, don’t cry. “Get where?”
“Wherever you want to go.”
Swallowing hard against the lump in my throat, I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“As a guy who’s been where he is, I do.”
“How long are you going to stay mad at Holly?”
He’s up, stalking my office. “I missed so much. I missed the wait for the stick to change and find out. I missed the first sonogram. I missed out on her morning sickness. She’s so far along when we go to the doctor we can find out if it’s a boy or a girl. Fuck, would she have kept me from that too?”
“She was just trying to protect you, to try and lessen the fear you have. Holly loves you; you guys are going to have a baby. Why can’t you focus on that?”
“I am, damn it. I’m still fucking scared shitless.”
I don’t even hesitate. I’m up, hugging him tight. Our hugs over the last few years have been quick, as we came and left each other. This time, I hug him tight around his middle. He stiffens at first, then he hugs me tight back. “There’s nothing I can say to make the fear go away. You can stay afraid; it won’t keep anything bad from happening. It will keep you from enjoying this moment. You missed some of the good stuff, but there’s still a lot left for you to be there for.”
Neither of us says anything for a while. We don’t let each other go, just give and take the comfort from one of the few people in our world who knows us the longest and the best. My phone buzzes, and Mary announces Lucky Adams is here and waiting. Ethan rubs my back. “Thanks. I’m going to talk to Karen then I’m going home. I talked with Karen about you quitting. Over the next week we’ll begin planning.”
“Okay.”
My lunch is a working one with a client. I got a text from Chris, telling me he knew about the lunch and he would see me when he came to pick me up at six thirty. I miss him, which is ridiculous, I just saw him a few hours ago. It doesn’t matter; as I sit across from my client. I can’t stop wishing it was Chris instead.
Later that evening, I’m ready to go with my coat on at the elevator for him. He smiles when he sees me as if he missed me too. “How does sushi sound for dinner? You can show me the place you love so much.”
“Sounds good.”
We planned to take it home but end up eating at the restaurant. It’s a relaxed dinner as he asks about my day. I tell him about Ethan, leaving out most of what he said about Chris except the admission he deserved to be hung up on. Chris just nods, letting the matter go. I breathe a sigh of relief.
The restaurant isn’t far from Chris’s place. I don’t even hesitate to try to make the walk. But only three blocks in, Chris stops and hails a cab. “Amelia, don’t do that again. If you’re in pain, you need to let me know.”
His censure is quiet, yet full of anger. “I’m sorry.”