“I’ve never seen Dominic so miserable and I’ve seen him covered in baby vomit, so you know I’ve seen a lot. You, you are as easy to read as can be. I thought it was Johnny dying. It’s not though. Is it?”
“I can’t talk to you. Dominic—I’ve already messed up too much to add talking to you to the list.”
“Regina, look at me. I won’t tell anyone anything you tell me. Not Dominic, or Enzo. No one. I know what it’s like to have fucked up so badly you are terrified you can’t fix it. To feel alone when you’re surrounded by people who love you and would do anything for you. And we would, all of us. It’s not just Pop, or me, it’s Alicia and Bethany and even Nonna.”
Her hand covers mine, squeezing it gently.
“You are a part of this family. Not the Outfit, the Sabatinis. We’re an annoying, loud, loving bunch, and we’re going to argue and fight, but we will also do everything in our power to help each other and make sure you never have to go through anything alone. Che was very gently trying to talk to Dominic about how concerned he is about you. Bethany told me she texted you her therapist’s number. Great woman, you should talk to her. Whether it’s about this or Johnny or all the rest.”
She moves close to me, putting her arm around me. It’s the first touch I’ve had in weeks. That has to be the only reason why I start crying.
“Ah, honey.” It’s all she says for a long time as she hugs me close.
Everything comes out in a torrent of words I’m not even sure makes sense. I guess not because she asks me to repeat a couple of things, like Dominic putting me in the trunk and when I told Dominic to just get it over with.
Finally under control I tense, waiting for her disapproval. She runs her hand down my face as she looks down at me with tender understanding I’m sure I don’t deserve. “Stop blaming yourself. This is a mess you both made. Dominic Sabatini is in love with you and scared shitless of it.”
I’m shaking my head. She doesn’t get it.
Pulling away, she’s stern. “Hey, I know Dominic Sabatini. I know him like I know myself. It’s the reason I hated him so much. We’re more alike than either of us wants to admit. He’s scared because the idea of letting you know he loves you means you know he belongs to you as much as you belong to him.”
She mops me up with several tissues. It reminds me of when Dominic did the same thing the night of Johnny’s funeral.
“It would be easy to blame the whole ruthless world he lives in, but both Enzo and I were the same way. The need to have the upper hand, to feel like we were in control. I had been hurt way too much and was waiting for Enzo to be the next person to hurt me. The problem was I ended up hurting myself. It wasn’t until I gave up fighting him, fighting for control, that we both let go and everything felt right.”
I want to believe her. I just can’t. “He’s making the best out of a bad situation. I’m just the current bedwarmer who is so starved for affection I’ll take anything he’s willing to give. And oh yeah, a total slut who is gasping for sex.”
“Okay, let’s break it down rationally. Let’s leave emotion out of it for five minutes. Dominic Sabatini, ruthless, manipulative, manwhore, has extolled your virtues to all of us for far longer than he’s ever talked about anything or anyone. Sure, maybe that is a cover. Does it explain him spending hours with you shopping with Lydia? He hates to shop, he flat-out doesn’t do it.”
Weird, when he seemed so comfortable doing it with me that day.
“Dominic spent a half hour on the phone with Callie and sent her a half dozen photos of dresses he liked. The man doesn’t know a ballgown from an A-line, but he knew everything he wanted your dress to be. He had your wedding ring remade twice because it wasn’t perfect. Your tiara had to be redone once, he was so particular the jeweler was terrified Dominic was going to kill him because he kept messing up. Does any of that sound like a man who is making the best of a bad situation?”
Studying my ring, I remember Callie talking about Dominic saying he wanted me to look like his queen. At the time, I put it down to his arrogance of the day. Then when he took off the tiara, the satisfaction on his face wasn’t from arrogance, it was pure happiness. It flashes again, what had been in his eyes as he looked down at me. I had thought I was projecting, yet it shined so brightly. What if...
“Look, I get you’re young. I’m trying not have that be a factor in this conversation because I wasn’t when I met Enzo, and I still didn’t get it. Which was really embarrassing, as I had stopped having sex for exactly the reason I should have seen it for what it was. The whole sex thing, how it’s amazing, incredible, you can’t get enough, you think your whole body is going to explode from pleasure?”
I blush, and Chloe smiles knowingly.
“Yeah, that doesn’t happen with everyone. There are couples who are genuinely in love, I don’t understand how, but they don’t feel it. It’s special, because it’s with someone you love and it’s the only place you are both allowing yourself to be open and free with each other. That’s why you’re both so greedy for it—if that’s the only place you’re allowing each other in, you’re craving that connection.”
Closing my eyes, I inhale everything she has said. “God, I’m so stupid.”
“No, honey, you’re not stupid. You’re human. I’m guessing you didn’t have a window into what love looked like before you met Dominic. Then when it comes with all these crazy things in it...” She shrugs. “I can’t imagine figuring this out on your own.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I cried all over you.”
“Oh please, it’s nothing. I’m always here for you, know that. You can call me anytime, day or night. Now we have to figure out how to fix this.”
“Is it fixable?”
“Totally, and it’s going to be way easier than you thought.”
***
Regina
Putting on the dress Chloe picked out, I shiver with anticipation. To get the desired effect, I make sure to be out of the apartment dressed before Dominic sees me. I text him I’m getting my hair cut for tonight then having the whole mani-pedi thing so I look my best. I’ll meet him at Pop’s. His response is now typical Dominic with a simple OK.