Mom read everything she could get her hands on to become more American, less of an outsider as a woman with dark skin and a Spanish accent. She thought it was cute when I tried to read her books, she never kept them from me. When I packed my suitcase I didn’t fill it with clothes, I filled it with her perfume, her pictures, and her favorite books.
Unpacking my suitcase, Mother Superior was astonished by all the books. She didn’t have the heart to take the too grown-up books away from me. I reread them until they began to fall apart. Those books shaped the way I thought of the world and myself. They also prompted the questions and distrust of the religion I grew up with. So even though Dominic was old enough to be my father, it didn’t feel like it in the slightest.
Stop it, stop thinking of him like that. We get to Chicago tonight and by tomorrow, or the day after at the most, I’ll be gone. I have to be.
I jump when Dominic closes the car door. The change in him is clear. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing, seat belt.”
“Is it Johnny?”
A heavy sigh. “One of the cops on my beat, his kid died during a surgery. It’s nothing to do with you. Drop it.”
“Did you know the kid?” I can’t drop it, not when Dominic looks so sad.
“No. It’s just fucked up. He was an only child. They had a couple of failed pregnancies. They had to go the in-vitro route to have him. Just had his third birthday a few days ago.
” He shakes his head. “It’s an inconvenience, okay? He has to take leave and I get saddled with a newbie who might give me problems. That’s all it is.”
Liar. Dominic Sabatini is mourning the loss of a child he had never met simply because he knew the father. He’d likely seen the father’s joy and happiness at the birth of his son. Now he’s empathizing with the father going through the death of his child.
I sigh as I close my eyes; why couldn’t Dominic just stay the monster I need him to be?
11
Regina
“Can we please stop with the rock music and listen to something else? I’m begging you. I’ll even listen to Eminem bitch about getting everything he ever wanted.” It’s almost a half hour since we left the gas station. I was trying to hold in my complaint, only I’m getting a headache.
“AC/DC is classic. Your education is sorely lacking. Let me guess, you’re a Taylor Swift fan?” His expression isn’t mean, as I feared it would be. He’s lost the air of sadness. I fight not to smile at his pained expression. And just like that we’re arguing, without any heat whatsoever, about the best and worst music and musicians.
Almost three hours later and my voice is getting scratchy from all the talking we’ve done. I’ve never talked so long or so easily with someone in...ever. Not my lone best friend, Elisabetta, who left school a year before me and I haven’t heard from since, Richard, or Mother Superior. With Dominic it comes easily, my questions, his answers, and back around again. It doesn’t feel like an interrogation even though I’m pretty sure I’ve shared every single important thought and fear and maybe even secret I’ve ever had.
“I have to pee.” I blurt it out. I need room, distance and I need it now, right now.
He looks at me in surprise. “Okay, the last sign said a stop in about fifty miles. Can you wait that long?”
Blushing, I nod.
“Are you okay? Did you start your period or something?”
Oh god, I blush again. “I’m fine. I just didn’t realize I really have to pee.”
I keep my eyes firmly out my window.
When we stop, I don’t even wait for him, I just get out of the car and go into the fast-food place he stopped at. While he doesn’t crowd me, I feel him close behind.
Sending the lock into place, I take several deep breaths as I stare at myself in the mirror. “Don’t, Regina. Do not fall for that man. He’ll make you fall in love with him and he won’t love you back. All the pain from the past combined won’t equal how much Dominic Sabatini will hurt you.”
***
Dominic
I’m not sure what happened to Regina, but something did. I have no idea what I said or did to make her retreat into herself. Even though I want to drag her out of her hiding place, I let her go. Today had gone better than I could have hoped for. If she needs some time, I’ll give it to her. It will make it a little easier when I have to bring down the hammer after she’s made her attempt. Once I lock her down, hopefully she’ll remember I wasn’t a complete fucker the entire time.
Rolling into Chicago, twilight has fallen, wrapping the city in a dark blue glow that has the streetlights kicking on. She sits up straight to take in everything.
I pull into my parking space behind my building.