“Okay.”
****
I laughed when Gabe handed over his phone to Wes. So apparently I had screamed — it sounded horrific, and I had to laugh. Poor Gabe, he was probably going to have ringing in his ears for days.
“Classic.” Wes laughed and then started coughing, I went to touch his arm and he grinned. “Medicine makes me feel like shit, no worries, I’m fine.”
“Gabe, can you uh—”
“Lisa just texted anyway. She’s lost in the hospital, if I don’t find her she’s going to hit on one of the doctors and we really don’t want to see the ramifications of that.” With a salute he left the room.
“I did it.” I grinned.
Wes pulled me to his chest. I tucked my legs onto the hospital bed and laid my head against where his heart was beating. Funny, I could hear it, it sounded healthy, strong. I placed my hand there and started tapping.
“What are you doing?”
I lifted my head and gave Wes a weak smile. “Oh, just keeping our time.”
His mouth found mine and then I was straddling him, throwing off my jacket to a heap on the floor. Wes reached around my neck and pulled me closer to him. He was weak from the medication, but everything about him felt so alive still, so warm.
“You’re going to fight this,” I said against his lips.
He sighed and kissed me hard. “I am fighting it.”
“Listen to me.” I pulled back and gripped his face with my hands. “No giving up. I won’t give up on you, so don’t you give up on you. Okay? This is not the end.”
Wes cursed. “I need you to be prepared that if it—”
“Nope,” I interrupted as I kissed his cheek. “I’m not even going there. You know why?”
“Why?”
“Someone brilliant once told me that when you tell yourself you can’t do something, or even entertain the possibility, the body starts giving into defeat. It’s weak like that. The mind tells you that you may not make it, so you start to sink—”
“Hmm, sounds familiar.”
“I started sinking,” I explained, rubbing his cheeks with my thumbs. “I sank because I told myself I was drowning.”
“I’m not drowning.”
“And you aren’t sinking.” I kissed his mouth. “You’re floating, just like I floated. You just have to stay above water a little bit longer than most people, but I promise the end will be worth it.”
“Is there skinny-dipping in the end?” Wes tilted his head.
I threw my head back and laughed. It felt good to joke with him. “Absolutely. Lots and lots of skinny-dipping.”
“My favorite.” His lips were warm against my neck. I arched back as he trailed kisses down the side of my jaw.
I col
lapsed onto him and kissed him as hard as I could. We fell asleep talking and kissing. Every time I woke up I kissed him again, and every time I fell asleep it was to him kissing my hair, my neck, telling me stories.
Later Lisa and Gabe came into the room, we decided that the best way to not dwell on the future was to occupy ourselves. First we played BS, then we watched a few Christmas movies, and ate popcorn. Lisa fell asleep first, then Gabe, and then me. The last thing I remembered before my eyes fanned closed was that the nurse was going to have a field day when she walked into our room. Gabe was stretched out in a chair, Lisa was lying on the small bed for family, and I was sprawled out on top of Wes.
I fell asleep with a smile on my lips. Friends. Best friends. I had them, and I had Wes. I tapped the rhythm of his heart with my fingers, allowing the cadence to put me into a deep sleep.
Chapter Forty-Three