“Because we didn’t sleep together?”
“Because regardless of how naked you get, Lisa, your shield will always be up until you choose to take it down. Sleeping around, partying, drinking — they’re all forms of protecting yourself. It’s not freedom. You are never your most vulnerable until you’ve removed every lens you allow people to see you through. Some have one. Others have several.”
She took a generous sip of her wine and laughed, but it was fake. “And what makes you think I have so many lenses, oh wise one?”
“Did I say you did?”
She was silent.
“And I think it’s probably time we talked about that elephant in the room.”
“What?” She snorted. “Me, being almost naked, having wine with my professor on a Monday night?”
“Oh that,” I teased and gave her a wink. “We’re anonymous, remember? Nobody knows we’re here.”
“True.”
“I told you a secret… now it’s time to trade.”
The glass shook in her hand.
“Why were you crying tonight?”
“Stress.”
“Fine. I’ll ask differently.” I shifted so I was closer. “I’m sitting with Lisa right now… the first lens… the one that’s strong, late to class, great kisser, hard worker…”
She stared hard at the flames in front of her.
“So let’s try a different angle… the girl you used to be, Melanie Faye, why was she crying tonight?”
And just like that I was given a vision of what Taylor had become so obsessed with, what had enraptured his attention and completely destroyed his sanity. Instead of being afraid, Lisa tilted her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. The light that had once been there — completely gone. And in its place utter darkness. Sweet, beautiful, addicting darkness.
I’d been wrong.
It wasn’t the light that had drawn him.
But the beckoning call of the dark.
And like an idiot, I’d fallen before I knew.
“I would say screw you, but I imagine you’d just think it was an invitation, you sick bastard.”
“You resort to name calling when you get cornered?”
“Depends. Do you resort to seducing your students when you don’t get what you want? I knew it was you, the guy I bumped into at the student center. You called me Melanie then. You’ve known this whole time.” She leaned forward the blanket dropping from her body, giving me a tempting view of her breasts.
“I was always curious.” I changed the subject and looked away, hoping she’d drop the fact that I’d called her Mel the first time I saw her; it was out of shock. “How does one compartmentalize so well?” I glanced back at her. “They don’t. they just repress until the other part dies. You know it’s similar with dissociative identity disorder. Shrinks used to suggest that each of the personalities decide who the strongest would be, and then, in what they thought was a stroke of genius, had the strongest personality kill the rest of them, leaving only one.”
Lisa’s eyes flashed.
“Funny how that never works.” I sighed. “Just like repressing the person you are never works when you try to replace it with someone so out of this world vanilla and boring. I imagine you’re both things… weak and insecure, paired along with being sexual and demanding. Your greatest fear is letting go. Am I right?”
She tried to stand, but I held up my hand. “Sit.”
She sat, her jaw clenched tightly.
I continued, “At least for tonight, be both people.”