A goddamn candy store.
On a Sunday afternoon.
Who meets their lover here? Who holds hands in a store filled with children?
I stare at where they're seated at a small table. Ellie's hand is wrapped in his. It's lost in there. Her eyes are staring at his face. The smile on her lips is a tribute to how much she's enjoying whatever the fuck she's doing right now.
"Ellie!" May screams her name loud enough that everyone in the place turns to look at us, including Ellie. She tugs her hand from his instantly, her eyes a window to the surprise she's feeling.
"May," she calls out, her voice cracking. "What are you doing here?"
What the fuck are you doing here, Ellie? What the fuck is he doing here?
I don't say a thing because I don't trust myself right now. I can't guarantee that I won't say something that will damage my daughter's perception of me, so I say nothing.
May rushes over to Ellie and reaches in for a hug. I follow, wanting to pull her back. I don't want to see them together like this. I don't want yesterday to be a mistake.
"Who are you?" May extends her hand toward him after she lets go of Ellie. "I'm May."
"Wolf," he replies with a smile and a brief shake of May's hand. "I'm a friend of Ellie's."
"Wow. Wow. Wow." May steps closer to him, her eyes skirting over his forearms and the elaborate tattoos on display. "You're way better at drawing than me."
"Drawing?" he asks with a chuckle. "What does that mean?"
I feel Ellie's eyes on me but I ignore her. I can't look at her. I don't know what she's doing but it's obvious this isn't pajamas and movies at home. The lemonades on the table and the open candy bar they're apparently sharing make this a date in my book.
May flips her hand over to show Wolf the picture of a monkey she drew on her palm this morning. "I draw like this and you draw like that."
He laughs. "Mine are a little different than yours are."
"Way different." She looks back at me before she takes another step closer to Wolf. "Is your name really Wolf?"
"It's Liam Wolf," he explains. "My friends call me Wolf."
"Can I be your friend?"
"We need to go, May." I tug on her shoulders. "Let's get your candy so we're not late for the museum."
She reaches for my wrist, her gaze scurrying over my watch. "We have until the little hand is at the two, Daddy."
"We're going now." I grab her hand. "Let's leave Ellie and her friend alone."
"Nolan," Ellie says my name softly as she stands. "Can I speak to you outside for a second?"
"No." I turn and look her in the eye. I see something there. It might be sadness or regret. It's definitely not guilt. "I'm spending the day with my daughter. If you have something to say to me, you can make an appointment with my assistant this week."
"You're serious?"
"Dead serious," I pull both words across my tongue slowly with an edge of anger. "Eda will handle any further correspondence between us."
"You're jumping to conclusions that are wrong." Her bottom lip quivers. "You have to know that. You must feel it."
"I want some candy hearts, Daddy." May tugs at my hand. "Let's get them before the little hand is at the two."
"I feel nothing." I pivot toward the line of people waiting to place an order. There's a burning pain in the center of my chest. "Let's go, May."
I don't turn back when I hear her tell Wolf she has to go. I keep my composure when she brushes past me as she heads out of the store. I do everything I can to smile when May tells me that today is the best day ever. It's not. It's one of the worst days of my life.