Chapter 23
Adley
I wasn't going to do it. I had no intention of pushing back on Crew that way until I started reading that damn novel I picked up from the bookshelf.
The main character was named Christy. That took me right back to that morning in the clinic when the beautiful tall black-haired woman had walked through the door with a puppy that had eaten its weight in mini bagels.
While I tended to her dog, she felt the need to explain why she wasn't at her place to watch over the dog while it was feasting on her intended breakfast. Crew's name popped up somewhere in the middle of her story about being on the subway. They'd just met. She draped her trench coat over her lap and his finger got busy on her magic button.
I didn't bring it up with him then, because it didn't matter to me. I was never oblivious to what went on his life even though he's always been oblivious to what's happened in mine.
It doesn't bother me that he's slept with more women than he can remember. He's a gorgeous man who loves to fuck. I bit back at the jealousy early on by dating other men. It always works, until it doesn't anymore.
I refuse to be just another name in his past. I don't want that. I won't be it. I brought up those other women because I want him to see that I fit into a different corner of his life than any of them ever could. I'm not ready to give that up.
I can find another man to fuck. I can't find another friend like Crew.
The discussion was difficult, the moments spent on the beach afterward were awkward but it was all necessary.
We can go back to Manhattan in two days as friends. Eventually we'll both forget the kiss and life will be as it was.
It has to be. I need it to be.
"You're daydreaming about a burger, aren't you?" Crew steps into my line of sight as I turn from where I've been staring out the window. "You have that look in your eye again."
"What look?" I laugh through the question.
"The one that makes me want to grill you a burger." He looks out at the deck and the large silver grill that he used to cook our streaks. "I'm the Benton burger king."
"Is that supposed to be impressive?" I tease, grateful that the uncomfortable walk on the beach didn't carry into our evening.
He shakes his head, pointing his finger at me. "You're going to eat those words after I cook dinner for you."
"When is that happening?" It's barely six o'clock. I made a sandwich before I hit the pool and I saw Crew eating an apple less than an hour ago after we made our way back up the private boardwalk. I'm not hungry. I doubt he is either.
He glances down at his silver wristwatch. I haven't seen it on him since I arrived. I haven't seen him in gray pants and a black button down shirt either but that's what he's wearing.
"After I get back." He runs his hand over his smooth jaw. He shaved since our walk. Showered too and applied what smells like Matiz cologne.
It's not lost on me that he's going somewhere alone. I ask because the curiosity is nipping at me. "Where are you off to?"
"I'm meeting a friend for a drink."
It's a woman. A man wouldn't warrant the effort he's put in to get himself ready.
"You have friends in the Hamptons?"
What an idiotic question. He has friends everywhere .
"She's visiting from Los Angeles." His gaze coasts past my face to the view of the ocean beyond. "We're not often in the same place at the same time."
Did you call her or did she call you?
I don't ask because I can't. I'm the one who retreated back to the friendship line less than three hours ago. Who he spends his time with is none of my business. He made a decision to forgo time with me tonight to spend it with someone else, just as I made a decision to keep things platonic between us. I can't be upset because he's doing what's best for him.
"Don't rush back," I say in a voice that doesn't sound like my own.
He caresses my lips with his eyes, hesitating briefly before he finally responds. "I'll be back in a couple of hours. Call if you need me."