"I didn't sleep with him…" The pause does little to control my ever growing rage. "Not today, I didn’t sleep with him today."
"Today?" I hurl the word at her as I turn back around. My hands are on my cufflinks now, pulling thoughtlessly at them. I'm overheating. The room suddenly feels like it's the middle of summer and I'm standing in my suit on a crowded street. "You didn't fuck the senator today?"
"Thomas," she counters. "I didn’t fuck Thomas today."
Thomas. He has a fucking name. Of course he does. She didn't let that detail escape without reason. Why the hell is she making this more personal? I don't want to know his name. I don't want to know anything about him.
"He was at the wedding." She nods as if she's reminding herself of the fact. "He was at Julie's wedding."
I roll up the arms of my shirt. The act not just meant to help me cool down physically, but emotionally as well. I was so focused on keeping her away from Josh Redmond, that piece of shit ex-boyfriend of hers, that I didn't even notice that another man she fucked was in the room. "Did you talk to him?"
She nods quickly. "I did. It was only for a minute."
"Where the fuck was I?" I ask, knowing that it sounds territorial. It's who I am though. I'm not going to hide behind a veil of something I'm not to appease her right now. I can't believe she talked to him that night and today. All of this is spurring on my own desire to bolt.
"I don't know," she tosses the words back effortlessly. "You were talking to a lot of different people that night."
Women. It's what she wants to say. I was talking to a lot of women. The majority of them were related to Jessica in some way. I spent a good portion of that night trying to dodge her mother's overly zealous hands. I also spent more than an hour listening to her grandmother and aunt tell me stories about Jessica as a little girl. Who knew that while I was tripping down memory lane with her relatives that she was reacquainting herself with an ex-lover? "I was getting to know your family," I hiss the words out slowly. "I was trying to become part of your family." My index finger darts in her direction.
I can't tell if the words register or not. She's stoic. "It meant nothing, Nathan."
"What meant nothing?" I take a heavy step towards her as the
words leave me. "Talking to him that night meant nothing? Or talking to him today?"
"He's a part of my past." It's a diversion. She's avoiding the question.
I push my hand through my hair in exasperation. "At that fucking door…" My hand juts to the right towards the apartment door. "At that door when I brought him up you practically fainted. What the fuck was that about?"
"I came home to tell you." She pulls her gaze down to the floor. "I wanted to tell you since the wedding."
"Why didn't you?"
"I knew you'd react," she begins before looking directly at me. "I knew you'd react like this."
She's right. How am I supposed to argue a point that is so blatantly correct? I always flip out over Jessica and other men. My blood boils whenever I see a guy checking her out on the street. I almost physically lose it if I hear anyone trying to pick her up. It's no fucking surprise that she'd try to shield both of us from that.
"You always pitch a fit about me and other men." She shrugs her shoulders. "Thomas and I haven't seen each other in years. I was surprised at the wedding. I didn't want to ruin our night."
Our night? That was the night she wanted to fuck me senseless in the elevator. It was the night she took my cock in her mouth the minute we were back in our hotel room. She couldn’t keep her greedy hands off of me. "Did you blow me that night because you were thinking about him?" I regret the words the instant they leave my lips. They're meant to hurt her. Their intention isn't shrouded in anything. They're hot, piercing and they make a direct hit.
Her mouth falls open. She slowly stands. She reaches to the arm of the couch for balance. I wait for her to walk towards me, half expecting her to scream a litany of curse words at me. She stops right in front of me.
"Christ, Jessica." I reach towards her. "I didn't mean that. I fucking didn't mean any of that."
She takes a small step back, so she's just out of my reach. Her hand juts into the air between us. "I have nowhere else to go." Tears stream down her face now. "I'm going to sleep in the guest room."
"No." I move to grab her elbow to stall her. I can't let her walk out of this room. I don't want her to think constantly about my spiteful, petty words as she tries to drift off to sleep. "Listen to me, Jessica."
She rips her arm from my grasp. "There's nothing left to say, Nathan. Nothing."
I don't try and stop her. I only stand with my regret as she walks down the hallway.
Chapter 11
"Thomas Lane is your girlfriend's ex? Governor Lane?" Garrett can't hide his amusement at the statement. "When the fuck did that happen? Didn't she just graduate from high school?"
Jessica's age has always been fodder for Garrett's incessant joking about her. I've known him since law school. I know him well enough to realize that he's incapable of being serious when it comes to her. That's because he's so fucking jealous that I'm with her and he's still alone. "Shut the hell up," I bark across my desk at him. "You know she's not that young. It happened when he was still a senator."