His eyes grew heavy-lidded. “It is always a pleasure to nourish you, L’lorna.”
“Thank you.” I could feel my cheeks getting hot with a blush at the way he was studying at me. There was clear desire in his amber eyes when he looked at me, especially after I had finished feeding from him.
It occurred to me that maybe that was why I felt more comfortable with his Drake than with Ari himself. There were no sexual overtones between me and the huge beast, the way there were between me and Ari. I mean, not like we would act on those feelings, but they were definitely there. Drinking from him made me feel all tingly in places I usually tried not to notice and I was reasonably sure he was “tingling” as well.
The Drake’s love didn’t have any of that sex stuff mixed up in it at all. It was pure protectiveness and affection with nothing to muddy the waters or make me feel uncomfortable. I liked that about him—especially since I had long since decided that any kind of sex would be off the table for me, even when I felt ready to have it. After all, who would want to have sex with me, looking the way I did?
Well, Ari would apparently—at least if the emotions that flowed between us when I drank from him were any indication. But that was hard to think about and really embarrassing. Just the idea made my cheeks feel hot.
“You’re uncomfortable,” Ari said, frowning as he sat up. “Why?”
“I’m just…not looking forward to meeting your parents looking like this,” I lied, nodding down at my rumbled uniform. “Is there anyplace I can wash up and try to make myself look more presentable?”
“Sure.” Ari nodded. “There’s a little stream around the back side of this century tree.” He nodded at the massive tree we were under. “My Drake had a drink from it before we changed forms so I could hold you while you slept.”
The idea of him holding me all night—studying the scarred side of my face while he did—made me feel itchy between my shoulder blades for some reason.
“Uh, thanks,” I said uncertainly. Getting up, I shed his blazer and shirt and held them out to him. “You’ll probably want to put these on so your parents don’t get the wrong idea,” I said, feeling my cheeks get hot again.
“Actually, we’ll be entering my Sire’s palace with me in Drake form,” Ari told me. He looked me in the eyes. “And the only idea they will get about you is that I love you, Kaitlyn.”
His bold statement sent a shiver down my spine. The words seemed to echo in that quiet place—to reverberate with the power of a promise not lightly made—a vow which must be kept.
“Oh,” I whispered.
I saw Ari looking at me expectantly and I wanted to say it back—wanted to feel it with my whole heart. But there was still something standing in the way, though I didn’t know what it was. Why could I love his Drake so immediately and unashamedly and yet I still felt just a bit uncertain of my feelings for Ari himself?
Maybe because I was still so unsure of myself.
“Um, thank you,” I said at last, feeling how very inadequate the words were. “I…I guess I ought to, uh, go freshen up.”
“Go on.” His eyes were sad again as he motioned to me to go. “I’ll wait here for you.”
“Thanks.” And I fled, feeling like a coward and wondering what was wrong with me. I did care for Ari, very deeply and I was grateful for everything he had done for me. But there was still something keeping me from letting the love I felt for him in my heart flow outward and I didn’t know what it was.
68
Ari
I watched her go, wondering what was holding her back. At last I had declared my love and though I felt answering emotions inside her, Kaitlyn hadn’t given the declaration back to me.
When I first felt her reluctance—that barrier between us—I had assumed it was due to my Drake. She feared him, I had told myself. Feared his flame. And how could she love that which she feared?
But she didn’t fear him any longer. In fact, if I had to bet, I would have bet strongly that she preferred him to me. A fact which again, absurdly, made me feel jealous of myself—jealous of my own Drake.
“Don’t worry,” I heard my other half rumble. “She just isn’t ready yet. But she will be—she will be.”
I wondered if he could possibly be right. Then again, he had predicted that Kaitlyn would take to him immediately and he had certainly been correct about that. Dios, I wished I could understand what he wasn’t saying—that I could sense what he could about her so effortlessly.