My heart does a somersault.
He keeps talking.
“Then there’s how sweet you’ve been with my family.”
“I told your mom on you.”
“Yeah and I did the same.”
I laugh.
“My ma laughed her ass off when you did that because she and my father started out the same as we did. He chased and she did everything she could to push him away because she had issues goin’ on thinking she was too plain for him. Ma loved it when you told her I was being relentless.”
“Your mom is a knockout.”
“Yeah, but she had no idea because her father was a shithead who made her think she wasn’t. My father didn’t give up on my mother and they wound up married with four boys.”
“What? Baka put up with her husband treating their daughter like that?”
“Fuck no. They split at a time when divorce was fucking taboo.”
I’m surprised.
“Baka loves you. You remind her of a combination of herself and my mother. Baka wore pants despite her family thinking it was wrong and cut her hair short when it was unthinkable in her village. She divorced when she had a kid, and it was frowned on by her family. She sees herself in you with your unique style. She’d love you anyway though, even if you looked and dressed like Stana, because you spar with her and say what you think. Because you kicked her ass at that board game and talked smack at the table like the rest of the family. You were sweet to Uncle Niko’s wife, and she never says more than a few words. She talked the last meal we all shared more than all the time I’ve known her. They’ve been married two years and we sit at the same dinner table at least two or three times a month. Then there’s how you were with Ivana.”
I smile.
“All that’s not fake. How I saw you giving money to a homeless guy in the dark on the Barry White night, which baby, I wanted to spank your ass for because it’s dangerous.”
“That’s Reggie. He’s not dangerous; he’s a war vet with PTSD. I tried to help him get a place but he wouldn’t leave the streets, so I bring him food or give him money.”
“Further proof of who you are. That night I watched you help that little kid in the movie theater by holding her stuff so she could get into the folding chair. How you talk to complete strangers like they’re your friends. How you think of your taxi driver as one of your best buds and babysat his kids when he was in a bind. He has a lot of good things to say about you, too.”
“Ash is amazing.”
“How you cried watching Aiden and Carly get married on that video because you were so fucking happy for them. That’s who I’m falling in love with.”
I gulp.
“In love with?”
“Yeah. You know it. You feel it, don’t you? Don’t tell me you don’t because I know you do.”
“I don’t know if I do. I’ve been fighting so hard that I’m not sure if I know it.”
“Stop fighting, Ally.”
“I’m scared.”
“I’ve got you, baby. I promise. Now, you skipped dinner and it’s ten o’clock, so let’s eat and then let’s go to bed and fuck.”
“Okay.”
I stay where I am.
A minute later he’s shaking with laughter. “Are you gonna get up?”
“I don’t wanna.” I hold on tighter.
He kisses me again, with tongue, with tenderness, and then he stands up and sets me on the chair beside him, reaches across the table and pushes my bowl over to me.
“Then sit beside me and eat because I’m fuckin’ starvin’.”
I laugh.
“You waited for me? You should’ve eaten.”
“I waited for you,” he says and those words sound loaded with meaning.
He smiles and passes my wine and my fork.
I take a deep, cleansing breath and then I dig in.
The food is delicious.
38
Jude
After we’re done eating, we clean up together and she’s quiet, reflective, but it feels like a good thing for once.
It feels like she’s still processing her new reality, that she’s safe. That she will continue to be safe because I’ll make it that way.
I’ve got a small, tight team helping with this and everyone knows the stakes are big. I’ve had conversations with most of the people in her circle, too. I told the security guard in her building there’s shit that’s up putting her at risk and he’s being extra vigilant; we exchanged numbers.
I also talked to and exchanged numbers with her cabbie buddy. He took the time to tell me how lucky anyone Ally picks to be her man would be. Not like I don’t already know that.
I’ve got backup plans in place in case anyone that I don’t personally know fucks this up and sells her out. It cannot get fucked up in any way, shape, or form because not only will it hurt the trust I’m working hard to build with her, but it’ll also put her at risk which is not an option.