I rose to my feet and met Tucker’s livid gaze. He might not want to marry me, but over the last few months, he’d made it no secret that he wanted to fuck me.
Me and every other girl he set his sights on.
There would be no fidelity in our loveless, sexless marriage. Not that I cared.
“I’m never having sex with you, Tucker.”
“Yeah, right. We’ll be married by next year.”
“You will never touch me. Not even when we’re married. Get yourself a mistress. Get a whole goddamn harem. I don’t fucking care. You will never share my bed. We’re business partners. Nothing more. Do I make myself clear?”
“You’re a fucking bitch.”
“Does that make you feel better? Does calling a woman a bitch make you feel like a big, powerful man? Because you don’t sound like one. You sound like a spoiled little boy who didn’t get to put his fingers in the honey pot.”
With a growl, he stormed back inside.
“Have a lovely evening, darling,” I called after him. “Can’t wait to see you again.”
With a broken sigh, I turned back to the railing and closed my eyes. I’d made my bed, and I would lie in it. I just wouldn’t be lying in it with him or any man.
The floorboards creaked behind me, sounding Galen’s approach.
“You just got a nice glimpse of my future,” I muttered.
He shifted, and the weight of his suit jacket fell around my shoulders, protecting me from the cold.
“Thank you.” I pulled it tighter around me, feeling his heat still trapped in the fabric.
I missed Magnus’s heat, the cage of his arms, the warmth of his breath, the vibration of his voice, and even his bossiness. Especially that.
But what I missed most was his kissing. I closed my eyes, attempting to conjure the sensation. The feel of that first brush of his lips on mine. The drugging way his assertive tongue slipped past my teeth. The taste of his hungry mouth, opening, deepening, trying to consume me. God, I missed him so fucking much.
“There’s more to this than that.” I blinked, my eyes growing hot and achy.
“I know.”
“What do you know?” A tear rippled down my cheek.
“I know your heart belongs to another.”
My breath stilled, and I pivoted to look at him. “Am I that transparent?”
“No. But it’s my job to watch you.” He removed a tissue from his pocket and brushed away the moisture on my face. “I see pain that only comes from heartbreak.”
“Do you report that to my mother?”
“No. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Thank you.” I squinted. “What is your background?”
“Badassery.” He smiled with the whitest teeth, the darkest skin, and the kindest eyes.
And I believed him. It wasn’t the gun on his hip or his constant vigilance. I trusted him because, at gut level, I knew he was one of the good guys. He had my back.
“I don’t know what to do.” Do I go back inside? Do I try to do this sober? Or do I self-medicate and fade away? “I don’t know where to go from here.”
“Does this feel like rock bottom?”
“Yeah.”
“Then there’s only one direction to go.”
Up.
Missing Magnus was a painful way to grow up. He wasn’t a mistake. I would never regret the time I’d had with him.
He’d taught me how to live and let live, how to make every moment count, how to be more than what I was, how to experience what I learned, how to be taller and stronger for the struggle.
He taught me that the best things in life didn’t come easy.
He taught me how to love.
CHAPTER 37
TINSLEY
Why was my mother looking at me like that?
I sat across the boardroom table from her, meeting her stare for stare. Her gaze rarely spent this much time on me. Maybe I had something on my dress?
I glanced down at the starched white fabric. Pristine. Perfect. I was dressed for business today. We all were.
The boardroom belonged to the Kensingtons. Situated on the top floor of their corporate office, it overlooked the glinting steel of downtown Manhattan.
My family occupied half of the long table—my mother, Winny, Perry, Viv, Elaine, Keaton, and all our assistants and lawyers. Galen stood near the wall behind me.
The other half of the table sat empty, awaiting the Kensington family and their legal team. They’d called us here to make the final arrangements for the merger.
Tucker graduated from St. John de Brebeuf last month and was off gallivanting across Europe. I hadn’t been allowed to attend his ceremony. My mother didn’t want me near the school for obvious reasons.
My graduation had been a quiet affair. I received a digital copy of my diploma. Galen and I opened a bottle of wine, which he ended up drinking by himself.
It’d been six months since I’d seen Magnus, and the pain was still as raw as the day I’d left. I was surviving, but I wasn’t living. I was barely breathing.