“I’m not sorry about saying how I felt,” he says gruffly.
“I know you’re not,” I tell him, leaning over and clapping a firm hand on his shoulder.
“The engagement ring? I mean, that’s what Lucy thought was your real blessing. But I know different or as well as that, Paul,” I tell him.
“It was her great grandmother’s, and I was always told to keep it in the family, no matter what,” he reminds us both.
“But apart from that,” he continues, sounding serious and emotional again. “It was when I found out that my Lucy was going to be a mother herself… Her own mother would have been so proud,” he chokes.
I can only nod silently.
“You will look after her, won’t you?” he asks me after a long pause.
“With all my heart,” I tell him without having to even think. “Lucy is everything to me, Paul. Everything. Wedding or not. She’s mine and she’s the mother of my child.”
The look into his eyes, his hand crossing the table to cover mine.
It’s a real moment.
A family moment.
Something I’ve never had myself really. And something I don’t mind one bit. Least of all from Paul, who’s the best dad in the world as far as I can make out.
“What are you two arguing about now?” Shaun chimes, prancing in, looking at his watch.
“We’ve got an hour and a half to get there and you two are still arguing about prices for a wedding that’s hours away,” he exclaims.
That’s my agent though, forever the tactician and only ever leaving me wishing I had Lucy here instead of them both.
Planning a traditional wedding hasn’t been much fun with these two at my heels the whole time, and not having Lucy around for the whole day and night before our big day after so long together has been about as much as I can handle.
“Then I think we should get going,” I hear myself growl to them both, glancing at my own watch but only seeing Lucy’s face.
Only feeling nerves that a husband and wife would feel on their special day.
How I even got mixed up in arguing over the bill with her dad though… Random.
It all fades away though as the limo gets closer to the church.
My own stomach butterflies taking over from the mild irritation of dealing with other people.
Our own life, our whole life is in front of us after today.
Our own family’s life. Good and bad. Sickness and health.
I try not to dwell on the traditional vows so much, only worried I’ll forget them if I think on them too hard.
All of it though, even the vows I’ve memorized go blank once I see the cathedral.
The long avenue of crimson carpet, plush and flawless is like a red river I float down on my own. Passing the hundreds of people who smile and nod proudly as I pass them.
I know most of them by first name, and many more still I haven’t seen for ten years or more.
One man, in particular, I have to nod my head to. The bus driver who brought Lucy to me. Seems like a lifetime ago, but if it wasn’t for him and her insisting on getting him signed copies of my books, I don’t know if we’d have a dearer friend today.
The priest waiting at the end with a solemn little smile as the huge pipe organ in the cathedral starts to play.
Even over the sound of the wedding march, I can hear the crowd gasp and shift. Murmuring to themselves, which tells me Lucy is here.
Being walked down the aisle by her dad who’s also gonna be my best man.
They’re in shock and awe because of her dress, which I only saw a photograph of before Lucy decided it was the one she wanted for our special day.
It was her great-grandmother’s, but we had it reproduced from photos using materials Lucy managed to source that were true to the vintage.
It takes everything I have not to grab hold of her once she’s by my side. She’s the most beautiful thing in the world to me, but today more than ever she is truly breathtaking.
Seeing her in that dress, the light from the cathedral windows in her hair. Feeling her hand tremble slightly under mine when I’m allowed to take it.
I don’t have any trouble remembering my vows, I’m living them every moment since we met.
To love, hold and cherish. To honor. To support. To obey her love.
There are a few others I want to add, but I figure we can cover those tonight in bed once we head out on our honeymoon.
Lucy repeats her vows to me, and I become aware of something I hadn’t really noticed much.
The little tension I’ve had in my chest, maybe since our first night together.
She’s mine, I know she is. But it’s not until I feel the ring slipping over her finger and hear us both say ‘I do’ that I feel the tension in me relax fully.