“There is the matter of your fans, too,” The promoter continues. “There’s a lot of concerned people here. They’re not angry for the most part, just worried why you’d take off like that without even a single word.”
There’s something in his tone of voice that changes, softens. Almost sounding as hurt as I feel inside.
“I’m a fan too, Mr. Cartwright. It’s what made me organize the whole event. I really am here to help you know…”
I pause for a moment, trying to collect my own feelings where it feels like there’s only one right now.
The space inside where I just want Lucy back, nothing else.
“Fans worried or are you worried?” I ask him, having to ask his name again for the tenth time.
“It’s Jason,” he says. “And yes your fans are worried. If you can’t finish the convention what am I supposed to tell everyone?” he asks.
Fair question.
I glance at my watch, plenty of today left and no real reason not to finish what I started.
I’m hoping Lucy’s headed back over to the convention hotel anyway, maybe trying to get the room she was originally supposed to have with her chaperone.
What else would I do anyhow? Hang around here, moping and waiting for her to come back?
“I did say I’d come back for the second session, didn’t I Jason?” I ask him, forcing myself to lighten up.
“And you did mention free signed copies,” he chirps with new enthusiasm.
“Alright Jason, I’ll be over directly, but I’d prefer not to have to explain myself to you or anyone else. Just let people know where and when I’ll be there and we can pick up where it all left off, how about that?” I ask, shrugging to myself when he gushes his thanks.
I hang up and undress, taking a quick shower and splashing cologne on before heading out.
I make sure and leave my cell number with the front desk, explaining that if Lucy comes back or calls that they give her my number and have her call immediately.
It feels like every time I pass the front desk there’s a new face there, so I need to be sure they’ll let me know if Lucy comes back.
“I mean it,” I tell the new guy. “Same for anyone else who works here. A thousand bucks to whoever gets her to call me, got it?” I ask him, waiting for his feverish nod before I can leave.
I decide to walk over to the convention, clear my head a little.
Almost losing my way, it’s early evening by the time I spot the hotel where the conference is, those huge banners with my face on them like a beacon to guide me to the right place.
They seem so stupid now, seeing my own smiling mug fifty feet high without Lucy’s face next to mine.
I feel my chest heave, empty at the thought of doing anything without her, but something tells me she’s here still.
I can feel it.
She just has to be.
“Nathan!”
A familiar voice sees me spin around and groan quietly to myself.
It’s my former agent, Shaun. In person and with the organizer, Jason by his side. Both looking relieved to see me.
“I might have known you wouldn’t just leave it at a phone call,” I tell my old agent.
I would say old friend, but it was never really like that. More like a business arrangement.
“You’ve met Jason then,” I observe, letting both of them usher me past the barriers in the foyer, Shaun promising he’s only here out of concern.
“We’ve taken the liberty of letting everyone with a ticket back for tonight’s meet and greet… Signed copies…One group for signing then another group for a speech then meet and greet…” I hear myself being updated in between stealing glances all around me.
My eyes peeled for Lucy, willing her to appear from nowhere like these two clowns did.
But no Lucy.
It’s not long before I’m right back where I started. A line of people as far as I can see as I’m sat in my old booth. Signing free books for everyone now and having to listen to half of them trying to give me a hard time for walking out beforehand.
Mostly just asking why, but I can hardly hear them after a while.
I don’t say much, just smile and nod mostly. A few looks of sympathy for the ones who have a hard luck story of their own, but it’s all meaningless now.
None of this means anything to me anymore without my girl.
Taking a short break to stretch my hands and legs before the last speech and meet and greet for the evening, I grab a cup of coffee, trying to remember the last time I ate when I have Shaun in my face again.
Keeping a pretty tight leash on me for a guy who doesn’t even work for me anymore. But I’ve already decided to change all that.