When the door swings open, my mom is waiting with a huge smile.
I go in for the hug because I need it. “Hey, Mom.”
“Afton,” she breathes my name out in a soft sigh. “How are you?”
I offer a one-word response because I don’t want to dive into the details of my sorrow. “Fine.”
She steps back to look me over. I didn’t have a chance to plan my outfit for the day. It’s as simple as can be. Faded, ripped jeans and a white blouse. Red leather flats are on my feet because they are comfortable, and when you’re traveling around Manhattan by foot, a pair of good shoes is your best friend.
“You look beautiful,” she says softly. “You’ve always been a vision.”
I glance at the foyer table and notice that my picture hasn’t magically reappeared.
It stings.
My mom’s gaze follows mine. “I know. I need one of those wallet-size photos of you. Your father laughs every single time I pull that framed picture of you out of my purse to show people.”
I glance at her face. “What?”
“Your picture,” she says with a tap of her finger against the vacant spot on the foyer table. “I took it to Nantucket with me, and I’ve had it with me since. I don’t have a more recent photo of you, Afton. I’d like one.”
I run my hand over my top lip. “I thought you hid it when you went to Nantucket. I thought you were so ashamed of me that you couldn’t stand to look at it.”
Her eyes instantly well with tears. “No. Never, Afton. Never.”
“The lock was changed.” I jerk my thumb toward the door. “I couldn’t get in that day I came to see you. I saw that my picture was missing, so I thought.”
“Cleta lost her key, so we decided to change the lock.” She glances behind her before lowering her voice. “She was embarrassed.”
“I didn’t know.”
My mom holds her hands together in front of her. “Warren’s mother called the morning you were supposed to come to see us. She had a few choice words about you. I was livid. I told her as much. Your dad saw how upset I was, so he suggested we get out of the city. I thought he called you to explain all of this.”
“I thought you called our girl.” My father’s voice carries from behind my mom.
“No one called me,” I say in a broken voice.
“We fucked that up,” my mom says with a toss of her hands in the air.
That doubles me over in laughter. My mom has cursed before, but I’ve never heard that word come out of her mouth.
“We fucked that up royally,” my dad adds with a wink.
“We’re just about to sit down for a cocktail.” He motions to the living room. “Come join us, Afton. We want to hear all about your day.”
Chapter 49
Afton
It’s taken me twenty-six years to fully understand what love is. That’s because, for the first time in my life, I truly love someone so deeply that all I want is for him to be happy, fulfilled, and living the life he is destined to.
I’m standing on the sidewalk across from a playground that is a block from my parents’ penthouse.
I never take this route home, but my mom suggested I stop at the ice cream shop she sneaks off to. She claims their mint chocolate chip is superior to none.
I’m holding a cone with two scoops as it melts and drips onto my shoes.
Tears are streaming down my cheeks.
I can’t tell if they are because I’m happy for the man I love or if they’re rooted in the pain of what real loss must feel like.
I stare at the beautiful man pushing the little boy on the swing. They are both laughing. I can’t hear it from where I’m standing, but I see it.
I love that man. I love his laughter and his voice. I’ve come to love the way he tilts his chin just a touch when he’s eating and the feel of his hands on my hips when he’s inside of me, bringing me pleasure.
I’ve seen him happy, but this is next level.
His place in the world is with the adorable little boy with bushy brown hair and glasses.
I take a step closer to the curb, hoping I’ll see more.
I do.
Auggie jumps from the swing and into Luke’s arms.
My hand moves toward my pocket to get my phone, but I stop myself. I don’t need to capture this moment in time so I can torture myself forever.
I need to remember what we had and how he saved me from a life that wasn’t right for me and showed me what could be.
As a woman with long dark hair approaches them with wide stretched arms, I take one last look at the man I know I’ll never forget before I toss the ice cream in a trashcan and set off on foot, knowing exactly what I need to do.