I had to do something, or I’d go stir crazy. I’d lose my mind. Worse, I’d cry some more. Grabbing some workout clothes from the pile on the floor, I got dressed, put on my running shoes. Without looking toward Reed’s apartment door, I ran down the emergency stairs and to the gym. The front desk opener looked up when I came in. He was just turning on the computer, having just opened at five. Since early morning wasn’t my usual workout time, I’d never seen him before. I introduced myself, grabbed a towel, and went over to the row of treadmills. I put my earbuds in, set the program and began, lost myself in the rhythm of the music, the pace of my feet slapping against the moving belt.
Gray stepped into my line of sight, carefully as not to scare me. He was dressed to work out. Outside. Running pants, a fleece pullover, a black skull cap instead of his Stetson. None of it hid his fighter physique or the hours he spent working out along with his clients. With Reed. His pale eyes met mine, and he waited patiently for me to tug out my earbuds, push the buttons to slow down to a walk.
“We’re going for a run outside. Join us.”
I glanced over my shoulder. The gym had a few people working out on the machines. I could see a yoga class in the private room, everyone sitting cross legged, their back twisted to the right. But I didn’t care about any of that when my eyes latched onto Reed. I almost stumbled at the sight of him, dressed for the weather as well and leaning against the front desk.
“I’m good here,” I said. I was warmed up, my skin damp with sweat.
He shook his head. “We need you to set the pace. Push us. Three miles.” He offered me a slight smile. “You can do that without breathing hard.”
He glanced down at the display on my treadmill. I followed his gaze, saw I’d already gone almost three already.
The way he looked at me, I felt as if I couldn’t say no. As if I were one of his clients. I wasn’t. Far from it. I ran from a fight. As I told Reed, I ran from everything. I hadn’t talked with Gray much, only met him with Emory last month to see the apartment and to sign the lease. And then pizza with them and Reed.
“Please. Reed’s company is boring.”
He may have been trying to get a smile from me, but it didn’t work. I pushed the End button, and the machine stopped. I gripped the bar to steady myself.
I stepped down, ran my hand over my sweaty face and followed Gray over to where Reed stood, his ice blue gaze focused squarely on me. He was so handsome, and I couldn’t believe he wanted me. He was well aware how fucked up I was, and yet he wasn’t running away. No, he was a fighter. I saw it in the rugged hands, the broad shoulders, the powerful jaw. Yet, I knew what was beneath that. I felt as if he’d shared more with me over the phone than he had with perhaps anyone else. Maybe even Gray.
I wanted to run to him, hope he opened his arms for me, and let him hold me. To hope he never let me go. God, he was so hard to fight. I wanted him, needed him, even after only being with him for a short time. We’d talked, texted and sexted while I was gone, but together in the same room? Less than two hours, perhaps. Still, I knew I wanted more too.
But it wasn’t to be. I felt pretty confident that five-thirty was too early for either those guys from the airport or for Cam to mess with me, but that didn’t mean when they had their coffee they wouldn’t. We stopped in front of Reed, and he looked me over with a quiet intensity that made me want to squirm, Gray remaining silent beside him. Reed just gripped the hem of his long-sleeved fleece, pulled it over his head and handed it to me.
It was the second time he’d seen to my comfort when going outside, and I took it, worked it on. It was still warm from his body, and it smelled like him. I resisted the urge to grab the collar and pull it up and over my nose, to breathe him in. Just like last time, he silently rolled up the sleeves. His gaze shifted from his task to meet mine. I’d all but forgotten Gray was there when he walked toward the doors that led to the parking lot.
Reed slipped off his hat, placed it on my head himself. Seemingly satisfied, he picked up his earbuds which now dangled from the neck of his t-shirt, settled them in place. He wasn’t talking to me. I didn’t blame him, but with the music in his ears, he wasn’t able, or ready, to hear anything I had to say.
We went outside, Reed holding the door for me. I took a deep breath of the cold air, let it out. It felt good on my heated skin, but I was happy for the hat and fleece. I flicked a glance up at him. He was watching me still, but there could’ve been a whole ocean between us instead of two feet.
“Okay with our usual three miles?” Gray asked, blowing into his curled-up fingers.
“Sure,” I replied. My legs were loose, limber, and I was far from done.
“Give us a few minutes to warm up, then set the pace. We need to work off some pie.”
At the mention of Christmas dinner, I glanced at Reed again, but he was scanning the parking lot.
Gray started running. I tucked my earbuds in and joined him. Reed came up on my other side, so I was flanked by both of them as we turned onto the sidewalk. I followed Gray when he turned corners, very aware of Reed beside me, but only picked up the pace when he signaled me to do so. It was only then that I got into my usual groove, turned my mind off and forgot about Reed. Forgot about everything, the steady beat of the music in my ears helping me keep pace. The men kept up as we ran, ending back up at the gym as the sky had a hint of color to it. Instead of going inside, I walked in a circle in the lot, continuing to move. I was winded, but not done. No, the pace, the fresh air, and especially Reed beside me, only had me itching to keep going. The three miles only proved that even off the treadmill, I couldn’t outrun my problems.
When Gray said something to me, I plucked my earbuds out. “You’re not done, are you?”
His skin was a ruddy red from the cold, from the workout, his dark whiskers a strong contrast. He was breathing hard, but not sucking wind.
“I’ll just go back to the treadmill,” I said, looking up at the sky.
He held up his hand. “Wait.”
I watched as he went into the gym.
Reed stood, hands on hips, a few feet away. Earbuds dangled from his collar. I could hear his ragged breathing, see the sweat on his T-shirt. He’d said he didn’t like to run, and it was obvious the pace was faster than he was used to. I couldn’t last three minutes in a round with a fighter. No way. He looked quite a bit like when I’d first met him. Sweaty and tired from a workout. Then, he’d scared me, and I’d wanted to get away from him as fast as I could. Now, I wasn’t afraid of him. I wanted him with an ache that made me put a hand to my chest.
I wanted to tell him I’d lied, that I wanted to be with him. It wasn’t over. I didn’t know how it could be over, but he’d never believe me now.
“Run with Carter and Paul.” Gray’s words had me turning my head. Two guys I’d never met before were coming out the door after Gray, but I didn’t work out in the mornings. They were lean and muscular, clearly fit and spent plenty of time at the gym.
“Hi,” I said.