“Not so random but yes.”
“What did you decide?”
We weren’t anything. She could fuck anyone she wanted, and I had no right to get mad. It didn’t mean I had to like the idea. I didn’t even know the guy, and I wanted to beat the shit out of him because he held no value for her if all he wanted was a willing hole for his dick.
“And?” I asked, holding my breath.
“And I turned him down.”
Thank fuck. “Because…”
She was quiet for a bit. “Because sexting with you is better than a quick fuck with him.”
I couldn’t help but sigh as I dropped onto my bed. “Then you need to get off again?”
“You want me to hang up, so we can sex text?”
“Hell, no,” I countered. “I want to hear you.” Fuck, did I want to listen to the sound she made when she came.
I waited, the crackle of the line almost deafening as I did so.
“It feels impersonal,” she admitted.
“What? Phone sex? As compared to sexting? Or Larry?” It was harsh, but I wanted to know. Needed to know her mind on this.
“Maybe more so than if I’d fucked Larry.”
I growled, and I didn’t give a shit if she heard it. “This, between us, princess? It’s nothing like what you would’ve done with Larry or that English prick who wanted to use you to blow his load. What we share, it’s special. Sexting or whatever we do. I want to ask you to take off your clothes, to stand in front of your hotel mirror and look at your gorgeous body. I want you to describe to me what you’re seeing. The color of your nipples, the way they harden. I want you to tell me how wet you are, if your thighs are coated with your need. I want to hear how swollen your clit is then hear the moan you make when you touch it.”
She whimpered.
“All that?” I said, running a hand over my face. “It’s not impersonal because all the while, you’re going to wish it was my hands on you, my mouth.”
?
?This… this is special?”
Out of everything I said, that was what she asked after. “Fuck, princess.” I gripped my shirt at the back of my neck, tugged it over my head, let it drop to the floor. I leaned forward, put my elbows on my knees. Sat there in just my jeans.
“I ask because I’ve… I’ve never felt this way, and we’ve barely even seen each other. Talked. I just assumed this was what it was like for you with the others.”
Yeah, I’d had other women, but I wasn’t going to go there. I didn’t even want to think about any of them because the only face I saw in my mind was hers. “I didn’t want a relationship,” I admitted.
“I… I didn’t realize I was forcing you into one.” I heard the prim shift in her voice. I’d pushed a button of hers, and I’d lost some of the ground I’d made. She’d shared more than I’d imagined, and she was backtracking.
“Whoa, princess.” I put my hand out. “I said I didn’t want a relationship.”
“I heard you the first time,” she snapped. “You don’t have to repeat it.”
“Yeah, I do.” I sighed, cupped the back of my neck. “I do now.”
“Do now, what?”
I realized I wasn’t making much sense. “I want a relationship. Now. With you.”
Another pause. “Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. This—” I circled my finger in the air even though she couldn’t see me from the other side of the Atlantic. “—thing we have, it’s… fuck, it’s more, Harper. I fell fast. You’re hard to fight.”