It’s like a shot, she told herself firmly. It’ll hurt, but then it’s over with.
It won’t work, a little voice in her mind whispered.
She used to think that was her animal’s voice, but her parents had gently explained to her that that was impossible, that she was just imagining things. Gretchen had learned to stop mentioning it.
The voice spoke up only rarely, but when it did, she usually listened. It sounded like an older version of herself, like a Gretchen she desperately wanted to be.
But right now it was telling her that her plan was dumb, and she didn’t like that at all.
Remember the water balloon fight? the voice said, prodding at her. You kept trying to fill up that water balloon, and you put so much water in it that it burst. You don’t want to burst.
No, she didn’t. Yuck.
But she couldn’t burst apart, because there wasn’t anything inside her, no matter what it felt like. The little voice was just her imagination. She was empty, like a balloon thirsty for any water at all.
Her little sister Tricia’s bite would take care of that. After it was over, Gretchen would be just like the rest of her family. More importantly, she would be just like she felt she was. Her outsides would finally match her insides.
Gretchen pulled the collar of her T-shirt off to the side, exposing her neck and shoulder. If a neck-bite was good enough for Dracula, it was good enough for her.
“Are you sure about this?” Tricia said nervously.
“Definitely.” Gretchen kept her voice perky even though she could feel goosebumps rising up on her arms. “It’s not like anything bad will happen. It’ll just make me like the rest of you.”
“I don’t know. Mom and Dad always told us to be careful not to bite you because it could make you really, really sick.”
It stung to know that her whole family had talked over how to protect her and she hadn’t even known about it. It was like they were the real people and she was just the baggage they lugged around. Well, not anymore. Not if she had anything to say about it.
Her parents thought that she was weak and fragile, but she wasn’t. She knew she wasn’t.
“Maybe I’m not as strong as you guys when I’m human,” Gretchen said, “but after you bite me, I won’t be human anymore, will I? It’s not going to matter. You know Mom and Dad always worry too much.”
Tricia scrunched up her face, thinking it over.
After what felt like an eternity, she nodded.
“Okay. Deal.”
Even as nervous as Gretchen was, she couldn’t stop herself from breaking into the widest smile of her life.
This was it. Everything about her that had always been wrong was about to be fixed.
Tricia slipped into her sleek lynx form and climbed up the arm Gretchen offered her.
When she sank her teeth into Gretchen’s shoulder, it was like dozens of red-hot needles had suddenly slammed through her skin. The pain was beyond anything she ever could have imagined. It felt like her whole body was turning inside-out, like every fiber of her being and drop of her blood was trying to revolt against what she was doing to it.
Gretchen screamed, and Tricia landed on the floor and shifted back immediately.
“Gretchen! Gretchen, what’s wrong?”
All Gretchen could do was hold her shoulder and sob as the pain only seemed to get worse.
She’d never seen her little sister look so scared, and whatever tiny part of her brain could even still think started hating herself right then and there for having put poor, gullible Tricia in this position. She reached out and grabbed her sister’s hand.
“It’s okay,” she managed to say. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I’m going to go get Mom and Dad,” Tricia said. Her wide eyes were filling up with tears. “Gretchen, you’re bleeding so much.”
“No, please.” She felt her hand slipping on Tricia’s, but she fought to hold on. “Please. Just give it a chance. It hurts, but I know I can do it. I know it’ll work.”