“You’re acting like one tonight.”
I paid the check and we left. I drove Roxie home in silence. I was a lot of things, but I was nobody’s nigger. I didn’t call Roxie for two weeks. She was on my shit list and would’ve remained on there if not for one thing.
She’d shown up at my penthouse in a trenchcoat toting a bag of sex toys, determined to prove to me that she loved herself some dick and nothing but the dick. Some brothers might consider what I did punking out, but those brothers have probably never been with a dick slayer.
Thirteen
Rayne
Luckily, Black Sex Goddess offered rush delivery on orders over fifty dollars. I ended up spending almost triple that on an outfit that was guaranteed to make Basil salivate. I bought a black-lace demi bra and matching thongs, garter belt, lace-top thigh-high stockings, and a pair of whorish-looking spike heels.
I went to From Naps to Baps to get my hair done on Thursday, as usual. Boom and I had grown apart somewhat. She knew her ass was wrong for setting me up with her convict brother. The first time I’d shown up for my appointment after the hideous date, she’d been full of questions; like he hadn’t already told her everything or at least something. I decided to play her ass big time.
“So girl, how’d things go with Conquesto?” she asked me, sipping her customary Faygo while she was waiting on a curling iron to heat up so she could work her magic.
“Thank you so much for hooking a sister up,” I replied.
That got everyone’s attention. Yo-Yo, who was shampooing someone in the rear of the salon, ended up spraying water all over the woman’s face. Tamu paused in the middle of touching up someone’s nails. Nia, tossing the remains of yet another Popeye’s dinner in the trash, wiped her mouth with a napkin; no doubt trying to hide her smile.
“Really!” Boom squealed. “See, I knew you two was gonna hit it off smoothly.”
“Oh yeah, we hit it off alright,” I managed to say with a straight face. “Conquesto sure is a sexy man. You weren’t lying about that.”
“Uh-huh.” Boom giggled, bouncing back and forth on the heels of her feet like she wanted to break dance. She looked around at her co-workers. “I told you guys Conquesto is the shit. Ya’ll always tryin’ to playa hate on him when he comes up in here.”
More eyes rolled at that moment than tires on the Beltway during rush hour.
I sat back and let Boom rant and rave about her brother while she finished up my hair. Every time she made a statement about him, I made it a point to agree with her. After I paid her, I got down to business.
“Boom.” I struck my time-to-whup-some-ass pose.
“Yeah, girl?”
“You know good and damn well Conquesto’s a loser. Why’d you do that to me?”
She genuinely looked stunned. Great actress. Wrong audience. “What you talkin’ ’bout, Rayne? You said you had a great time.”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“Sarcastic?” Boom pretended like the definition of the word escaped her.
“I know he’s your family and all, but he’s not the dream lover you market him to be. You need to refrain from doing any further matchmaking.” I didn’t say the words. I hissed them.
“I was tryin’ to help you out!” she lashed out at me. “You’re always comin’ up in here lookin’ all sexually repressed and shit!”
“First of all, I’m not sexually repressed,” I stated with confidence, lying through my teeth. “Secondly, that’s none of your damn business. If you want to date convicted felons, cool, but don’t set me up with any.”
“You don’t have to worry about me doin’ your ass any more favors.”
Tamu leapt up from her manicurist table. “Dang, ya’ll not about to kick off the shoes, take off your earrings, and break out the Vaseline, are you?”
Boom and I both glared at Tamu, who looked like she was ready to microwave some popcorn and empty out the Faygo machine to watch the female version of the Tyson-Holyfield fight. I couldn’t help but laugh. My laughter set off a chain reaction and before long, everyone was laughing; even Boom.
Boom walked me to my car so we could discuss things womano a womano without a bunch of instigators around. Conquesto had come back and told her some BS about me wanting to fuck him but him refusing me because I seemed too desperate and he didn’t want to set off a fatal attraction scenario.
By the time I finished breaking the entire date down for her—the real date and not the imaginary version he’d made up—she was surprised I hadn’t slapped Conquesto upside his head. She obviously didn’t like cheap-ass men either. She was pissed off about him asking me to purchase my own movie ticket.
For me, forgiving Boom was a necessity. I couldn’t afford to lose a hellified hairdresser over a man. No way, José! We’ve never talked like we used to since the Conquesto fiasco, but I still feel comfortable enough to let her work on my hair.