Her heart skipped a beat. They’d made love last night. She’d finally given herself completely to their marriage and had no regrets. The loss of her virtue had been her decision. William had seemed surprised and he’d been so considerate after
ward.
“Indeed it was.” He kissed her cheek and then glanced over her writing table while she blushed. His mouth had been between her legs. A part of him had been inside her body, and she’d enjoyed every moment. “I had no idea Mrs. Young thought so meanly of you. I dismissed her too, by the way, without a letter of reference, simply for her unfounded spite. She’s planning an appeal to my grandfather, but I doubt he’ll see her.”
Matilda shrugged and placed her hand on William’s arm and squeezed. “She has always resented that I was capable and could work without her instruction.”
William’s arm crept around her back, and he held her a moment. “That she thought to warn me to keep an eye on the silver because of you was beyond insulting.”
Matilda winced and drew back. “She must resent my heritage.”
“Heritage?”
“Hmm, I suppose you deserve to know the truth about my family. You asked about my mother.” Matilda clasped her hands at her waist. “Not many women have a gypsy for a mother.” Although she whispered it, the confession seemed to boom through the room.
“Gypsy?” William tilted his head to the side as he studied her. “Oh.”
“Thankfully, aside from her coloring, I inherited nothing of her nature.”
“When you would not talk of her, I assumed your mother was French or Italian or such. That you were ashamed of the connection because we had been at war with her people.”
Matilda shook her head quickly. “My mother’s family is English.” She studied William’s face, watching for signs of disapproval. Her heart might break if he turned away because of her mother. “I do get restless at times but not, as my father often remarked, as much as she once did.”
William captured her face in his palm, turning her into the light. “I have always been fascinated by your features.”
She grew uncomfortable as he continued to study her. “Unconventional.”
“Unique. So calm and yet so subtly wild beneath the surface. Like the way you dance in the woods and watch the sunset from this room every day. You are drawn to nature as much as I’m drawn to you. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I have tried to capture your attention and never once managed the feat to my satisfaction. There is something so elusive about your face and eyes. You bewitched me, and at last I know why.”
Matilda glanced away at his remarks, unsettled by them. “My father said as much of my mother. Marrying a gypsy did not turn out so well for him in the end.”
“He lost her too soon.” William brushed his thumb across her lips. “I can understand the wish to keep you safe from harm at all costs. I am only surprised you allow me so much latitude.”
“It feels right between us, William.” She blushed though. She had not the strength to fight her own nature. She liked being disciplined. “My mother didn’t die, William. She went home to live with her people because she could not abide society or my father’s rules and restrictions.”
His eyes widened in shock. “Your mother is alive?”
“I imagine so.” Matilda shrugged. “They fought before she left. My mother wanted to take me with her, but my father refused to part with me. He would not deny his daughter a place in the world, he said. He promised to educate me, something my mother wished for but could not provide if she resumed her life with her people. She gave me up. She never came back.”
William caught her wrist and held her firmly. “Do you want to search for her? I will help you find out what has become of her.”
“That is very kind of you, but it is not necessary. My father and I lived in the same house until his death. In all that time, she never sought us out again.” Matilda shrugged, unable to recall much about the woman who’d given birth to her or stir up the longing to seek her out. “If she had wanted to see me, to be my mother again, she would have come long before now.”
“Her loss. She should have been proud of the woman you’ve become. Here now, lift your chin.” He raised her face with his knuckle, his brow creasing severely. “You have nothing to be ashamed of, Matilda Ford.”
Matilda studied his earnest expression, astonished by his remark. “I married for money, William. For that I have every right to be disappointed in myself.”
“How can you think that? If not for you, I would have died. You had no idea how lost I was until you came.”
Matilda traced the scar on his cheek. “Our lives prepared us for each other, but it is up to us how we live those lives.”
“Indeed it is.” He grinned and studied her notes. “You’ll need to advertise for a full complement of servants for the new house. I completed the purchase this morning. We can move next week.”
Matilda bit her lip. “We have the perfect butler already. He simply needs a promotion and a kind word from you.”
“Dawson?”
Matilda nodded. “He will be perfect in the position and can help Miss Marta if she accepts my offer to come back and work for us as housekeeper.”