Last season she had felt the odd one out among her married friends. This year she could not help but notice that others made plans for house parties that she could not accept invitations to. For one, she would have to take a chaperone, and two, someone had suggested Sally was almost of an age not to need one.
That remark had hurt her feelings more than she had let on at the time. But later, when she was alone, she had decided it was high time for a major change in her life.
Marrying Lord Ellicott was necessary.
Across the room, her grandfather caught her eye. He winked at her, so she winked back and then laughed, allowing her doubts to subside. She had made a responsible decision to marry. She and Ellicott were cut from the same cloth. Things would be different from her initial expectations, but if Sally had learned anything in her five and twenty years, it was to adapt to change.
She would make it a rule with Ellicott that if either one of them took a lover then the details were not to be shared. “I think I will turn in, Mama.”
Mama grasped her hand and squeezed. “But it is so early.”
“I have had a long and tiring few days.” Her duties often left her exhausted, but today had been particularly taxing on her emotions too.
“Indeed you have. It is not every day a woman accepts a man as her husband.” Her mother nodded sagely. “Rest well, my darling.”
Chapter Fifteen
Sally climbed the main staircase with no particular destination in mind once she reached the top. She was not really that weary, but she suddenly could not bear to be around her family. And especially not Lady Ellicott.
Uncertainty plagued her. She was still attracted to Felix, much more so than she was to the man she would marry. As she ascended the stairs, she studied the face of the late Duchess of Rutherford. Her portrait hung at the top of the stairs leading to Sally’s bedchamber, and her grandmother’s smile had always intrigued her.
She had only vague memories of the woman—kind, a laugh like sunlight. Soft.
Sally did not feel she was very much like her, but she wanted, more than anything, the sort of life her grandmother had lived—with a husband’s unconditional love supporting her endeavors. Unfortunately, Sally had not the faintest idea of how to make Ellicott fall in love with her.
The swish of skirts and rush of soft footsteps drawing near broke her out of her reverie. Unwilling to face anyone at this hour, Sally ducked into the nearest guest room and quietly closed the door until it was almost completely shut. She held her breath as her future mother-in-law hurried past, her direction leading her toward her own bedchamber at the end of the west wing.
Sally pressed her brow against the cool, solid door and closed it all the way. She did not want to be questioned by Lady Ellicott about the captain, so she would remain here a while and avoid her. She would not be able to offer a good answer if questioned about the past anyway.
A throat cleared softly behind her and she spun about.
Felix Hastings, captain of the Royal Navy and her first lover, stood before the open bedroom windows with the sea breeze billowing the curtains around him. Naked as the day he had been born too.
Moonlight played upon the taut skin of his body, making him seem as insubstantial as air and terribly appealing. Sally gulped as her body reacted to the sheer beauty of his form and the unexpected moment. Strong, muscled, big. She was blushing before it occurred to her she had sought safety in his guest quarters.
She lowered her eyes. “Forgive the intrusion.”
“Of course.” He did not move to cover his nakedness but stood immobile until she lifted her gaze again. “Can I help you, my lady?”
She had not seen him without clothes in such a long time. She bit her lip and struggled to breathe. When she glanced at his body again, his cock thickened and lifted in reaction to her presence. Sally closed her eyes as the desire to skim her fingers over him grew unbearable. “You should not stand about like that.”
“Why not? It is my room.” He sighed.
“A gentleman would cover himself, and you could catch a chill,” she concluded rather lamely.
“A gentleman I have never been. Not the sort that you are used to now. Besides, a proper lady would have done one of three things by now—faint, scream, or leave.”
“I am a proper lady.”
He shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’re Sally Ford.”
“I do not even know what that is supposed to mean.”
“It means I like that you are bold. I like always knowing where I stand with you.” He said nothing for a long moment. “Tell me you are satisfied with your life.”
Had she ever been? Sally was not sure she could describe her life as happy even now. She had always wanted more. She wanted her heart to not feel so conflicted by what was proper and what she needed. Right now she desperately needed to feel the warmth of Felix’s hand on her skin. Her heart sank as she imagined what that would be like once more.
She had never reacted to Ellicott the way she had to Felix—desperate at just a glimpse of his body, needy with barely an ounce of control. She had been happy when first engaged to Felix, but that was the past. She was not the same woman. She had no delusions that he would stay. “No,” she whispered. Her knees trembled and she leaned against the door for support. “I am not.”