Her brother’s wife was not the only one inconvenienced by the war. There were mothers of sons, sisters too that longed for news of loved ones.
“I begin to think he has forgotten all about me,” Cecily said next.
Felix frowned. “Lieutenant Ford speaks of you often.”
Her eyes lit up like a fire on a dark night. “What does he say?”
“I, well,” he mumbled then frowned, clearly perturbed by the question and how best to answer.
“Now my dear, do not pester the captain,” her mother interrupted before Felix was further pestered for particulars. “He has orders to follow, just as all sons do.”
Felix smiled at her mother gratefully. “Indeed.”
Sally almost laughed at the relief he attached to just one word. Cecily’s need for reassurance was a constant thorn in her side. Her fear that she was forgotten by her absent husband tried her patience. Sally knew what it was like to truly be forgotten. Cecily at least received letters at irregular intervals.
She glanced at Felix again, annoyed. She could not fault him for his manners tonight, but six years of silence was difficult to forget. He was polite and charming to her family, though he never looked her way more than common courtesy demanded. That hot desire that had filled his eyes after their kiss was gone. He did nothing to remind her that she had been in his arms.
He took his lip between his teeth, then licked it with the tip of his tongue. All of Sally’s wicked remembrances of Felix struck her at once.
Dear God, she had sucked his tongue into her mouth.
She had not wanted to stop kissing him either, which made no sense if she claimed to hate him.
Her mother laughed suddenly, and Sally wrenched her attention back to the here and now. “I had forgotten how witty you can be. My dears, I told Captain Hastings during his first dinner at Newberry that when he is of a mind to settle he should make his home in Essex, and I swear I almost have him convinced. He would be a very welcome addition to Newberry society, would he not, ladies?”
The captain laughed. “My ship and men need me back, but if it were possible, I could live in this part of the country very comfortably I am sure.”
Bitterness twisted her lips. She was getting married and would move away when Felix was finally settling down. The talk was that the war would soon be over. Once peace was assured, Felix would come ashore, make a home, and make a life. Her chest tightened. He would make that life with another woman.
The others began to talk amongst themselves, so she turned to him, “Have you seen so much of the district you could make your mind up so easily to live in Essex?”
He faced her. “Not very much at all. Your mother knows better than to believe my interest in Essex anything beyond idle speculation.”
“I am sure it is nothing more.”
“I do like what I have seen though. The duke has assured me I am not a prisoner, so I have been considering where I might venture when he is done with me for the day. Where are your favorite places on the estate? Somewhere within easy walking distance would make for a pleasant outing in the afternoon.”
His following grin was as warm and irresistible as she remembered. He had always made her smile with his curiosity about her preferences. He had been the first man she had met among the naval set who had not flattered her family excessively to curry favor, and his attention had gone straight to her head. He had been clear and direct from the start. He had told her he was ambitious. Sally just had not understood those ambitions meant more to him than she ever could.
Reminded of the past once more, she strengthened her resolve to fight nostalgia. That was all she was feeling when they were together. They could not ever be friends, so there was no point encouraging familiarity. She shrugged off his question rather than offering her opinion on the best vantage points on the estate and asked instead, “Would it really be possible for you to be happy so far
from your ship?”
“Most likely you will never find out.” He sighed deeply. “I do intend to visit the village as soon as the duke is finished with me tomorrow, and after that I will find my own way around since you cannot bear to offer advice.”
“You must be anxious to return to your ship.”
“I hope I can leave soon.”
Sally’s breath hitched in irrational distress at the thought of a carriage taking him so far away that she would never see him again. But when the duke finished with him, Felix would undoubtedly run back to his ship as quickly as possible. They were a country at war. Of course he must wish to return to his men.
“Yes, it is pointless growing accustomed to your being ashore.”
His jaw clenched as her younger sister and cousins took their leave in search of their beds for the night. Her mother left them to follow Louisa to the door.
After the room had settled again, a footman brought over a tray filled with drinks, stronger beverages of a kind she preferred to have late at night. However, when she saw a glass of sherry and a tumbler of whiskey perched on a silver tray, she felt a pang of irritation. She did not drink sherry and the footmen knew it. “With the duke’s compliments, Captain. My lady.”
Sally took perverse delight in taking the whiskey, leaving Felix to claim the sherry, which she remembered he had once confessed to disliking.