“Is Z coming tonight?”
Xavier has become a semiconstant fixture in our group. He’s developed friendships with Levi and Ben, and since he and I are also friends, he’s often invited to our get-togethers. “He’s going to stop by after his shift to help me move these bags to the conference center. He can also help me put the new books into the bags. He owes me.”
Laiyla’s brows lift. “When a man like that owes you a favor, you should use him for more than menial labor.”
I laugh. “Head out there and grab a glass for me too. I’ll be there in a few.”
When she’s gone, I look at all the pretty bags covering the living room floor of my small houseboat. I’ve been so busy and focused, I hadn’t picked up on the pink theme. Only now, looking at a sea of pink covering my floor do I pick up on the sign and think about what it might mean.
I cross my arms and smirk at the floor. “I’m beginning to think all this pink isn’t a sign at all. It’s just one of my favorite colors.”
I start cleaning up, scooping up leftover ribbon and swag and repositioning bags so I have a path through the room. Then I check myself in the mirror, touch up the loose waves in my hair, run my hands down the front of my favorite boho sundress, the one that dips low in the front and ends high on the thigh with a loose skirt that flows effortlessly around my legs. It’s—what else—deep pink, with a lush floral pattern that gives off an easy sensual vibe.
Before I walk out, I pause at the door, take a few deep slow breaths, and tune in to my body to release residual tension. Then my heart, to ensure it’s open and full. I label the tingling there as excitement. It took me a long time to learn how to reframe fear as excitement, but it was worth the work. Now, this buzz doesn’t bother me as much as it pleases me.
I’m excited there will be three hundred people at this retreat. I’m excited that all three hundred of them are people I can serve. No matter where they live, they can access my book and enroll in a variety of online memberships. This may be Shannon Duncan’s event, but I’m getting great benefit out of it. And so is the resort. We have thousands of dollars invested in just this one retreat, and first impressions are important.
I offer a quick Thank you for bringing me clarity before leaving my boat.
My sandals create a soft click on the dock as I make my way toward the market, where about three dozen guests mingle on the deck overlooking the lake. The sun is setting, casting a stunning coral landscape behind the rolling hills, the scene mirrored in the calm water.
My blood pressure slides down another notch. It’s a postcard-perfect evening, and gratitude floods me—for my friends, for this opportunity, for finding my path. It’s taken a long and rocky road of experience to embrace the wisdom I packed into my first book, Manifesting Daily Miracles. I’ve also learned that knowledge and practice are two very different things, just one of the themes going into the book I’m currently writing.
Most of the early birds are women, which is typical of spiritual retreats. Women tend to be deeper thinkers than men, deeper feelers than men, and often seek solace from within, while men search for happiness outside themselves, usually alcohol, drugs, sports, cars, gambling, women.
My mind touches on Xavier again, but I force the thought away. Before I make it to Laiyla and Levi where they stand with KT, Ben, and Ben’s kids, Violet, Poppy, and Jazz, someone recognizes me and rushes over.
“Oh, Ms. Hart.” The woman is in her fifties, gaze open and warm. “I wanted to tell you that your book has brought me so much peace.”
Before I can respond, two more women closer to my age join us. They also sing my praises, and I sign the copies of my book they brought from home. I thank them for their kindness and tell them I hope to see them in yoga and meditation classes.
When I reach my friends, they’re grinning. KT is holding Jazz, Ben’s youngest daughter, and uses her free hand to lick her index finger, then pretends to touch me with a sizzling sound. The others laugh.
“Hi, Chloe,” Jazz says.
I touch her sweet round pink cheek. “Hi, beautiful baby.” Then I look at Poppy and Violet. “Hello, beautiful girls.”
“Hi,” they say together, their grins big and happy.
I love these girls so much. KT and Ben leave on their first sailing journey in August, after Laiyla and Levi’s wedding, and I’m going to miss them all so badly.
“Kat,” Jazz says, “I’m hungry.”
“Come on, girls,” Ben says, taking Jazz from KT. “Let’s go see what’s on the menu.”
I rub my hands together and look around at all the friendly faces.
“So, you do get nervous,” Laiyla says.
“Nope,” I say with mock enthusiasm. “This is excitement.”
That makes KT, Laiyla, and Levi laugh.
“Have you seen Shannon?” I ask, scanning the group for a man, one of only three who are attending.
“I think he checked in a little earlier,” Laiyla says. “He may still be settling in.”
I nod and glance toward the parking lot, looking for Xavier. His sarcastic teasing and tales from work are always entertaining and would help soothe the buzz that’s feeling more like nerves than excitement right now.