“As if she and your dad don’t already have enough?” KT says.
“Honestly, I don’t think my parents could ever be satisfied. They’re wired to succeed, acquire, grow, achieve, and flaunt. They conquer one thing, then go on to the next. One conquest after another.”
“And you’ve followed in their footsteps, haven’t you?” KT asks.
I don’t like that comparison. “Explain yourself.”
“You’ve conquered every position in the corporation one ladder rung at a time. And just as their achievements are never enough for them, yours aren’t enough for you. Or them, for that matter.”
“Ouch.” I wince. “Thanks for that in-your-face reality.”
She blows on her fingernails and rubs them against her chest. “It’s a gift.”
“Maybe he left you this,” Chloe suggests, “so you could feel like you have a piece of ownership in your childhood memories. Maybe you could take this opportunity to extend those good memories into your current life.”
My chest grows wings, and I get that bubbly, giddy sensation under my ribs.
Chloe points at me, eyes narrowed. “What was that?” She stabs the air between us. “That, right then. What were you feeling right then?”
I shake my head. “Anxiety?”
“Could it have been joy? That giddy kind of joy that comes when your soul bubbles over and spills into your body?”
“I…” I shake my head. “I… Maybe? You know I’ve always struggled with this spiritual stuff.”
“Those giddy feelings, the ones that feel like nerves but that make you happy, those are flashes of light. Those signal you’re aligned with the universe. Those tell you you’re headed in the right direction. You have to trust your instincts.”
I exhale, confused. “Okay.”
“On a more grounded note,” KT says. “It’s not like he planned on dying and had time to get all his affairs in order. He died unexpectedly when he was, by all outward appearances, reasonably healthy. Maybe it’s as simple as giving you this land because you had a connection to it. It sounds like your mother never did. If I’m going to give away my pride and joy, I’m going to give it to the person who can appreciate it most.”
Guilt attacks, gnawing at my gut like piranhas. “And I’ve done such an amazing job of honoring that gift.”
“It’s not like you can’t turn it around,” Chloe says. “Sure, it would be a lot of work, but think about the sense of accomplishment you’d get by bringing it back up to your grandfather’s standards.”
“Fuck standards,” KT says. “You’d get more for it by making it a successful business. The more successful, the more valuable, which means it could bring the kind of money that could slingshot you toward your dreams of starting your own hotel line. If your grandfather was alive, what would he tell you to do?”
I think about it. “He always wanted to see me out from under them. He hated how controlling they were, which is why he took me for the summers, so I could be a kid.”
“Do you still want to do the boutique hotels catering toward millennials?” KT asks. “Because I’ve done a little research, and millennials aren’t only the largest population in the US, they’re traveling almost as much as the older generations. The iron is hot, babe.”
I close my eyes and envision having the final say over the major decisions instead of always having someone above me to please in accordance with my parents’ mandates. Something I could put my stamp on instead of my parents’. “I do want that. So bad.”
“Then let’s work up a plan,” KT says. “I can assess the boats to figure out how much they’d cost to repair so you could start renting them out.”
“And I can give you a crash course in event planning,” Chloe says. “Think about it, Laiyla. You’ve got this prime property, and you’ve got mad skills. Hell, you’ve been building them for years. Maybe it’s time for you to use those skills to make yourself happy, not your parents.”
I glance out the window. The sun is setting, casting a pink-orange glow across the smooth water. “There’s no denying what a seductive proposition that is.”
In fact, the thought of staying here feels like the first break I’ve had since that awful retreat in Niue.
“At the risk of sounding woo-woo,” Chloe says, “if you were part of my tribe, I’d tell you to surrender your fear around this place and see it through love. To trust that a decision made out of love will always be the right decision.”
I tilt my head, squishing up my face as I try to get my mind around the concept.
“May I?” KT asks Chloe.
“You may.”