She ached to throw herself into his arms. Kiss him until they couldn’t think. This mental straitjacket binding her forced all her air from her lungs in one gust. She reached up to touch his face. When she stopped herself and drew her hand back, Jax’s smile turned sad.
“Did you have that looked at?” she asked.
“Medics on the set said it was okay. ” He sat on the banister, angled toward her, wearing another leather jacket, this one all black. His jeans were also black. His boots black. The only concession he’d made toward dressing up was the light blue button-down shirt under his jacket and the tear-free denim.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were invited to the wedding when you told me you knew Stan?” she asked.
“If you’re reacting like this now, imagine how I thought you’d react then. ”
She felt tears rising to her eyes. Tears of excitement and relief to see him. Tears of fear for what he brought. What he might still bring.
He extended one hand, offering her a glass of champagne. “This will help. ”
“I never drink when I’m working. ” She took the flute and downed the entire glass in one swallow. Barely without tasting the expensive alcohol. And murmured, “Never. ”
Jax’s laugh was low and smooth. “Seems I tend to make you do all kinds of things you’ve never done before. ”
She hissed air from between her teeth. “I’m not ready, Jax. ”
“We both know you’ll never be ready, baby. ”
“That’s not true. ” She turned her head to look at him. “I was going to talk to you about it this weekend when we saw each other. ”
“Somehow, I had a feeling that no matter what I told you, you’d need reinforcements from others you respect. So I made a call. ” When she started to shake her head, he said, “One call, Lexi. Stan would never say anything to anyone. I knew you’d have to see that I’m not a total outcast to believe it, so I decided this was as good a place as any. ”
But her fear wasn’t focused on his lack of social standing now; it was focused on his power within those social circles. One call now. When things went bad, how many calls would he make? Even as she thought the worst, another side of her mind refueled her belief in his character. And her mind continued to ping between past bad experiences and the desire to believe Jax was different.
“Chamberlin!” The call came from a pathway nearby, and Lexi recognized it immediately as the groom’s. “It’s about fucking time, dude. ”
Lexi clenched her teeth as Connor neared.
“Oh, sh-shoot,” he amended his curse. “Didn’t see you, Lexi,” Connor said, grinning the euphoric grin of a man who’d just married the love of his life. “Sorry. I’m sorta—”
“Smashed?” Jax finished with a smile for Connor so filled with brotherly affection, it tightened Lexi’s throat.
“Shut up. And get rid of that frilly stuff. ” He gestured to the champagne. “My new father-in-law gave me a case of Ladybank at my bachelor party. ”
“No shit. ” Jax laughed the words.
“No shit. ” Connor wrapped his arm around Jax’s neck in a drunken bear hug. “Get me over there and you’ve earned a bottle. And leave Lexi alone. ” He gave her a drunken wink. “She’s way out of your league, troublemaker. ”
Jax tossed back the champagne, set the glass on the railing, and wrapped an arm around Connor as he stood. But his gaze was steady and intense on Lexi, reminding her of the first time they’d looked at each other through the windshield of Rubi’s Ferrari.
“You may be right, bro,” Jax said, his voice impossibly disappointed. “But a man can hope. ”
“I know I’m right,” Connor said.
Jax broke Lexi’s gaze, turning Connor toward the pathway. “Like you know you’re going to pass out before you make it to your bride’s bed?”
“Shut the fuck up. ” Connor laughed, wrapped his other arm around Jax’s neck as if trying to wrestle him to the ground.
Jax winced, but gently pried Connor’s arm away from his left shoulder and guided the groom across the grass. “Take it easy there, bro. I had a disagreement with some rocks this week. ”
Lexi’s chest felt like a hurricane. “Jax—”
He kept walking. “I’ll find you, Lex. Let me get this man back to his bride. ”
Jax wasn’t all that unhappy when Connor’s bride pulled him onto the dance floor, because he wasn’t all that anxious to have this talk with Lexi anymore. He’d been trying to talk to her about it for days, but she kept avoiding the conversation, as if she already knew what he was going to say. She claimed she hadn’t done her own research already, but somehow she believed whatever he was going to say would interfere with what they had…and where they were going.