I raise my brows and lighten my voice. “Well, as it is, Sir Xander,” I bow my head regally, “I’m lucky to have a noble leader to follow.”
He laughs, and his heavy chuckle bounces off the woods. “I hope that you don’t regret those words, m’lady.”
Before I can comment, he gives me a full Xander smile, then kicks the sides of his horse and gallops off. I puzzle over his words only a moment before following him.
Xander and I quickly stable our horses when we reach the court grounds, then rush toward the castle to meet Sebastian at the tournament.
My conversation with Xander still sits heavily on the front of my mind, but my nerves are making it difficult to think of anything other than tonight. This is it. The last day of the tournament and the ceremonial marriage of Prince Sebastian to his chosen princess. Everything depends on today. And me.
Devlan has spent the past two days stationed in the knights’ quarters on the opposite wing of the castle, training for the last match of the tournament. He’s being watched closely by the Force, and we couldn’t take the chance we’d be caught together and have it reported back to Sebastian. Xander took over my training, but we’ve only had an hour each day during my morning rides. Anything more is too risky.
Xander continually tells me of Devlan’s confidence in my skills, and it’s what I desire to hear. Only, I need to hear Devlan’s endorsement with my own ears, look into his eyes as he says it, but I know that’s asking too much. I trust he’d stop the mission if he were unsure.
Every moment that I’ve not been with Madity making preparations, I’ve been with Sebastian. Late-night suppers. Dancing beneath the stars at the tourney celebrations. Long walks around the lake, where I tried to coax him into the pleasant conversation we once shared. And all the while, my soul was burdened with guilt.
Guilt that I have failed him. Guilt that I have failed my father.
And Devlan.
Although my attempts to garner Sebastian’s trust have proven somewhat beneficial, as he’s removed my second guard, I’m not sure it’s enough. Every time he attempted to kiss me, my heart panged, and I pulled away. He believes I have strong convictions about marriage, and Devlan’s absence has helped, but I still see the doubt in his eyes.
All around me is doubt. It festers in the air, and I struggle to breathe through the suffocation of it.
After the last event—the battle between Sebastian and Devlan—I must convince Sebastian to take me to King Hart. I’ll have mere hours before the ceremony starts, and my mind struggles with what I must do.
I envision Devlan’s confident features, his sturdy voice as he tells me to see this through. However, I also feel the doubt that’s been with me from the beginning. I believe Sebastian can come out of this a good leader, a good person. But his recent bouts of anger and the cool, calculated look he gets lately splinter my mind with more poisonous thorns of doubt. What if losing his father sends him in the opposite direction?
Telling Sebastian the truth would open his eyes, and there might not be a need to continue this lie. There might be another way to stop Hart altogether. Or it could backfire, and I could lose Sebastian completely to the darkness seething in him. There are too many scenarios to factor in.
Right now, I can’t consider them. I have to continue with the Rebel’s plan. It’s been in effect long before I was involved, so it’s possible I’m only getting “cold feet.” Just not in the traditional wedding style.
As we reach the tournament, the stands are already full. All of Karm has come to watch their prince face off with last season’s defending champion. My head swims as I search the knights gathered on the sidelines.
Sebastian requested that I meet him near the tent before the match starts, and I’m late. Dammit. I can’t afford to slip up now.
“There.” Xander points to Sebastian suiting up in his armor next to the tent flaps.
I breathe a sigh of relief and head toward him.
“Zara,” Sebastian says. “I was worried you’d gotten lost.” He finishes adjusting his armor, and then kisses my hand. “I didn’t want to go in without my good-luck charm’s well wishes.”
Smiling, I allow him to hold my hand, and I even step into his embrace. “I had a difficult time spotting you amongst the other knights.” I mentally slap myself. “Until I spied your strong physique, that is.”
His eyes bloom with pride. Sebastian has always responded well to compliments. “As stimulated as I am by this battle, it doesn’t compare to the eagerness I feel for tonight.” His eyes linger on my face, and my stomach quivers at his implied innuendo. “When I can announce to all that you’re my wife, my queen, and my love.”
I give him a relieved smile, but his eyes move past me, to something over my shoulder. I start to turn my head to follow his gaze, but he quickly pulls me close, and I catch my breath. His fingers weave their way into my hair, and he presses his lips to mine. I’m shocked only a moment before I push against his chest, try to back him away. His lips are hard and forceful, claiming every inch of me for himself.
The announcer on the field introduces the tourney and Sebastian pulls away. “To be continued soon,” he says, then turns and struts toward his audience.
My stomach twists, and I swipe the back of my hand across my mouth. As I turn, I see what Sebastian glimpsed over my shoulder, and my heart slams against my rib cage.
De
vlan stands a few feet away, sword in hand, his face drawn in anger. I can see the rise and fall of his chest, the fury simmering as he stares after Sebastian.
I step toward him, but Xander catches my arm. “Not now, princess.”
Devlan’s name is announced from the platform. His eyes latch onto me as he closes the gap between us, making his way to the field.