“Let me escort you to your chamber.” He takes my arm and guides us toward the trellis opening. “It’s getting late, and I believe you’re to continue riding lessons on the morrow?”
I stop and turn on him. “Sebastian, did you hear—”
“As I said before.” His eyes snap to my face, his features wooden. “There is plenty of time before the wedding.” He smiles, but it’s forced, muted against the hard lines of his face. “I will win your affections by then.”
Drawing in the cool night air, I allow the chill to coat my stinging lungs. I hesitantly walk beside him toward the opening of the garden, pondering what else might convince him that I’ll never be with him in the way he desires. It took all my strength to admit those words. I hoped he’d somehow be relieved, use my reluctance as an excuse to choose Cecily.
However, I don’t want to press him further tonight. I trust that he—as Madity claimed—has a good heart, and maybe after thinking on what I said, will see that a marriage between us is impossible.
I change the subject. “I’ve asked Devlan to fill in teaching my riding lessons for the rest of this week while you’re preparing for the tournament.”
He nods once. His eyebrows knit together. “That’s excellent. Devlan is a fine rider.”
We near the lattice opening of the garden and Devlan is there, waiting with his hand cupped over the hilt of his arming sword, standing at perfect attention. His face is stoic as he stares past us.
As we pass through the arch, I glance at Devlan and our eyes meet. For a brief moment, his features harden. His face rigid and dark, his blue eyes cold. A shiver works its way down my spine. I can almost register what he may be feeling, but then his impenetrable mask slips back into place, shutting me out.
Before I force my gaze away, Devlan smiles. But it doesn’t match his cool, hard eyes.
FOURTEEN
The sky is clear, and sparse white clouds feather the pure blue with no threat of rain. The weather is agreeable. No mud puddles to splash around in if I’m thrown from a horse. I feel confident about the afternoon’s ride, even though Devlan’s avoidance of me is off-putting.
He’s the only thing ruining my otherwise perfect day. Luckily I spent most of it with Madity, going over her marital preparation to-do list. Picking out material for my wedding dress. Tasting icing for the cake. I think she was as shocked as me that I didn’t oppose. I did enjoy it, as I imagine I would’ve done these things with my mother were she alive. But at the same time, I was anxious to be done and get to my lesson.
Devlan readies Fireblood with a woman’s saddle, grunting as he pulls the leather straps tight. Jericho stands to his side. His shorn dark hair makes him look younger than I believe he is.
I lean against the wood fence, fingering my locket, and stare up at the sky. Too many thoughts cloud my mind to allow Devlan’s infectious behavior to bother me much longer. I’ve decided it’s best to fulfill my father’s wishes and escape this maddening place. Sebastian should be free to choose another, and rule his kingdom however he feels is best.
Before I leave, I’ll visit the chapel, and do something I’ve not done since coming here.
Pray.
I’ve been too conceited in thinking I could influence the soon-to-be king. He’s his own man, and responsible for his actions. The court is not my world. Not my place. I want to be free of the burden weighing on me, and I want to respect my father’s memory and do as he requested. I have to learn to relinquish control, and trust that a higher power already has a plan.
Glancing at Devlan, I ask, “Where are we going today?”
He adjusts his stance, then strokes Fireblood’s mane. “Right here.” He finally looks at me. “You’re going to take instructions from Jericho today within the stable area.”
My brow scrunches. “But why? I’ve been doing well, have I not?”
“Yes, princess.” He steps away from his horse and motions with his hand, urging me over to her. “But there’s no reason to go out again until you can mount on your own and ride on your own.” He cocks his head. “Next time, you’ll have your own horse.”
Though I’m disappointed that I won’t get to feel the wind on my face, or the exhilaration of bounding over the plains, I accept this. The faster I learn to do it all on my own, the faster I’ll have my own horse. Then it’ll be time to go.
I unlace my arms from around my chest and step up to the horse.
“Wait,” Devlan says. He turns around to grab a thick, three-legged ladder, then positions it beside the horse. “A mounting block. So you can mount sidesaddle.” A slight grin tips the corner of his lips up.
Relieved, I climb to the third step and turn toward Fireblood. Gripping her mane and the saddle tightly—now that my hands no longer burn—I pull myself onto the saddle with a huff. This time, I land my bottom in the saddle correctly, both my legs to one side. I smile and look down at Devlan.
Expecting him to offer some kind of praise at my having accomplished this feat on the first try, I waggle my eyebrows. But he merely picks up the mounting block and stalks away. I don’t have the chance to ponder his behavior as Jericho begins his lesson. I’m forced to look ahead and focus on learning to steer Fireblood.
With Jericho leading, I round the fenced-in area twice before I glance over at Devlan. He’s leaning against the fence, and only looks up to check on me before going back to staring at the ground. He blows so hot and cold from day to day. I never know what to expect from him. But today, there’s obviously something wrong.
The next half-hour is exhausting, for Fireblood as well as for me. Jericho’s repetitive lessons on safety and balance have worn us both out, and I’m starting to wonder about Devlan’s remark on Fireblood’s nature. She’s given me little trouble. An amazing creature, she’s more patient with my lack of skill than she is stubborn.
I’m released to trot her slowly around the stable. As I near Devlan, I pull back on the reins and come to a stop. “I believe I have it down now.”