She sniffs hard and nods. I wait for her to look at me before I continue.
“He’s a bully,” I say. “They’re all bullies. They see something special in you that threatens them, and they want to annihilate it. But you can’t let them crush you.”
Her eyes well with tears. “I don’t know what to do, Ms. Montgomery.”
“Yes, you do.” I reach out and place my hand atop hers. “You know Tyler. You know him better than this other girl. You know his strengths, and you know what makes him weak.”
Her watery gaze holds mine as she listens intently. She understands what I’m telling her.
“Find that one vulnerability and use it against him.” I sit back and relax my shoulders. “Cut off the head of the snake, Mia. The most dangerous one—the leader—must go down first, then the rest will follow.”
She wipes the tear tracks from her face. “I’m scared,” she admits.
“I know you are,” I say, “but are you more frightened of them, or what you know you need to do? Think about it, Mia. Only you can make the torment stop.”
She inhales a deep, fortifying breath. “I understand.”
Mia leaves my office a little less broken than when she entered, and for the first time since I began this career, I feel as if I made a difference.
The advice I gave Mia is the advice I wish someone had given me back in my high-school days. Sure, when Dr. Leighton befriended me, she became my sounding board, offering support and knowledge and a listening ear.
But, looking back as I am now, I see where my mentor failed me.
Dr. Leighton never once inspired me to fight. I had to do that all on my own—to find my worth and move away from the past.
I look down at the scars on my palm, run my thumb over the raised skin. It’s not healthy to look back, to wonder and dwell on what might be different if only we’d made another choice.
Because if one thing would’ve been altered—one single event changed to redirect our courses—then I might have never been found on that beach, and Jeremy and Irina might still be alive.
15
Delusion in Her Eyes
Lanie
If we go back far enough on our timeline, we can pinpoint the one incident that set the course for our life.
I used to think it was the night I lost my virginity to Jeremy behind the sand dunes. But now I can see where that was a rite of passage in my youth; not my defining moment.
I vowed a while ago not to let Jeremy—or anyone—define me.
No, what really set me on my course was my introduction to Dr. Leighton. She came into my life at a very crucial moment, and I clung to the hope she offered, promised.
I remember thinking the room was far too white. It hurt my eyes.
Her first words to me: “I’ve been assigned to your case.”
My first words to her: “You want to be my friend.”
“Yes, Lanie, in a sense, I am your friend. I want to help you.”
And she did. We talked so much that first day, and the days to follow. There was a pending court case where I was going to be judged. She walked me through that; she was by my side through the worst of it, and she remained with me afterward.
I wonder why it took her so long to ask the question that everyone else had already asked so many times. Maybe she didn’t have as much faith in me as I had thought. Maybe she was afraid of what my answer would be.
I mean, how many people can really be friends with a killer?
Still, one day she asked the question. And, as I respected her more than anyone else, I wanted to give her the answer that would please her.