“I’m sure.” Alex sat on the couch, his voice scratchy from crying. He was turning the envelope from his father over and over in his hands.
“Do you want something to drink?” The bar in the room was stocked.
Alex shook his head and motioned for her to sit by him. He pulled her close when she sat down and rested his head on her shoulder. “All I need right now is you.”
Jamie stroked his hair. “What did the letter say?” she asked gently.
“Everything.” He let out a shaky sigh. “He tried to apologize and explain everything. He was sorry things had turned out as they had. He pushed me too hard and wished he hadn’t, but he also said he was glad he did. He worried I had turned down a dark path I couldn’t leave. He thought pushing me hard would motivate more. He said his father had done the same to him. That’s why he joined the Navy and then moved up the ranks so fast.” His breath hitched, but he continued. “He agreed to testify against me so they wouldn’t try me as an adult. If they tried me as a minor, then my records would be sealed when I turned eighteen, and I could have a fresh start. Everything he did, he did for me, and I had no idea. And I ignored him.” Fresh tears burned Jamie’s shoulder.
“You had no way of knowing,” Jamie said. “You made your peace with him. It’s okay.”
Alex shook his head. “It’s not okay,” he moaned. “I could’ve had more time with him if I really tried, but I…” He groaned and sat up, burying his face in his hands. “Again, this is all my fault.”
She lifted his chin and forced him to look at her. “You can’t change the past, Alex. All you can do is help the present and the future. And the best way to do that is to get back in touch with your family. Re-establish your relationship with your brother.”
“I’m going to try. For my father.” Alex pressed his lips tightly. “You can be damn well sure of that.”
It was after three o’clock. Neither of them went to bed. They stayed sitting on the couch, waiting for the sun to rise. Alex put his arm over the back of the couch and Jamie settled in against his shoulder. Slowly she drifted off, listening to the strong, steady beat of Alex’s heart.
Chapter 12
“I’ve already made arrangements with the crematorium,” Mark said stubbornly. “It’s all taken care of.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Nope. There’s a brief ceremony in a couple days at Spurr’s Funeral Home. Dad wanted closed casket. He’s going to be buried beside Mom.”
Alex nodded. He wore a golf shirt and dark blue jeans. He looked the rich businessman even without a suit. Mark, on the other hand, wore jeans and an old Queen t-shirt. They looked the same and so opposite at the same time.
Alex’s handsome face was pale and the dark circles were still in place from the night of restless minimal sleep. Jamie resisted the urge to put a comforting hand on his arm and instead tried to look busy with rearranging his work schedule so he could stay for a couple more days. However, she had actually sorted things an hour ago and really had nothing more to do than eavesdrop and field angry text messages from her family. They’d magically come out of the woodwork to complain that she wasn’t helping Christine anymore. Mainly her mother… and Christine. Jamie chose to ignore them for now.
“I’d like to pay for the funeral and burial,” Alex offered. “It’s the least I can do.”
“He never wanted a dime of your money before,” Mark snapped. “What makes you think I’d want it now?”
“I never said you did,” Alex said. There wasn’t any anger in his voice, just resignation. It was going to be a long time before the two brothers reconciled their differences, but at least Alex was trying to be civil. “It’s only fair since you made all of the arrangements.”
Mark hesitated and when his wife purposely coughed loudly, he rolled his eyes. “Fine. You can pay for half. Dad already had most of this taken care of when Mom died. Not that you’d remember,” he mumbled. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge. “Oh, and Dad wanted you to say the eulogy at the funeral.”
Jamie’s head popped up the same time Alex said, “What?!”
“His words, not mine.” Mark smirked and clapped Alex on the back. “It’s all yours, man.”
“I haven’t spoken to him in… what the hell am I supposed to say?”
“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Mark’s tone sounded gruff, like he couldn’t quite muster sympathy. Jamie knew he was trying to stay civil as well, though. He had greeted them kindly when they came that morning and offered them coffee and breakfast. He clearly had a rough night as well and the strain from the past twenty-four hours was showing.
Alex rubbed his forehead. “Okay.” He sighed. “I’ll do the eulogy.”
“Good.” Mark moved around the small kitchen toward the back door. “I don’t know about you, but I need a break. I’m going to go and take a quick nap and then make the rest of the phone calls.”
Alex nodded. “If there’s anything you need me to do…”
“I’ll take care of that myself. If you get bored, there’s TV in the living room and there’s a bookshelf in Dad’s study. Feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen. We’ll be putting this place up for sale in the next few weeks, after the will’s read.”
“All right,” Alex said, forcing a smile. “We can stay here if anyone calls or shows up.” Flowers had already been delivered several times from local florists. “Jamie and I will be able to keep ourselves occupied for some time.”
Mark nodded before leaving with his wife. Alex waited until he was gone before he turned to Jamie. “I’m going to go for a drive.”