Her words hit his ears in a crash, like the avalanche of rocks off a cliff that continued roaring and tumbling long after the first crack of thunder, leaving a whiff of acrid dust in the air.
They came on top of words spoken by Señora Cabrera that had made him see red. A bastard conceived in adultery.
That was not what Lily was. Their attack against Poppy had been equally blood boiling and now Poppy was expressing regret over their daughter’s conception?
“Don’t you dare say that.”
Maybe it was the alcohol hitting his system, maybe it was the pent-up tension from his meeting releasing in a snap. Maybe it was simply that he was confronted with Poppy’s emotions so often, he was beginning to tap into his own, but rather than suppress his anger, he let himself feel it. It raged through him because her words hurt.
“I told you I will never regard Lily as a mistake and don’t you ever do it, either.” He threw himself to his feet, trying to pace away from the burn of scorn that chased him. “I would give up every last penny I possess so long as I can have her in my life.”
Damn, that admission made him uncomfortable. He shot her a look and saw her sit back, hand over her chest, tears in her eyes. She was biting her lips together, chin crinkling.
Was he scaring her? He swore and pushed a hand into his hair, clenching hard enough to feel the pain of it, trying to grapple himself back under control.
“Thank you, Rico,” she said in a voice that scraped. “I hope you know that’s all I’ve ever wanted for her. Parents who love her. Not all of this.” She flicked a hand around the room.
“I do know that.” He swallowed a lump from his throat, but it remained lodged sideways in his chest. He felt pried open and stood there fighting the sensation.
“But I’m starting to see that you and your family support a lot more people than just me and Lily. It shouldn’t be such a revelation to me. When I needed a job, your mother gave me one and I was grateful. Now I can see that this lifestyle you’re protecting has value to more people than just you. That’s why it’s upsetting to me that I’m undermining it. I think I’d feel better about it if you’d at least yell at me.”
“I’m not going to yell at you.” Was he angry? Yes. About many things, but none that mattered as much as his daughter. “My career ambitions and the bearing our marriage has had on them are insignificant next to what I’ve gained through this marriage. You brought our child. There’s nothing else you could have brought that comes close to how important she is to me.”
There was a flash of something like yearning in her eyes before she screened them with her lashes. She reached to pluck a tissue from the box and pressed it under each eye.
“It means a lot that you would say that. I struggle with exactly what they said. Every day.” Her mouth pulled down at the corners. “Feeling like I snuck in through a side door, using my daughter as a ticket. I feel like such an imposter.” She sniffed.
“Stop feeling that way,” he ordered, coming over to sit beside her, facing her. “It’s a terrible thing to say, but I can’t imagine Faustina showing our baby the same sort of love that you show Lily. I’m lucky my child has you as her mother.”
Her eyes grew even bigger and swam with even more tears. Her mouth trembled in earnest.
“Please don’t cry. You’re making me feel like a jerk.”
“You’re being the opposite of a jerk. That’s why I’m crying.”
She had worn her hair in a low ponytail today and half of it was coming loose around her face. He wound a tendril around his finger, thinking of how often he saw her wince and pry Lily’s fist from the mass, never scolding her for it.
How could anyone resist this mass, though? He dipped his head to rub the ribbon of silk against his lips. Watched her gaze drop to his mouth and tried not to get distracted.
“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” Rico began.
Her gaze flashed upward, brimming with inquisitive light. “Yes?”
Unnatural, fearful hope filled him even as he second-guessed what was on his tongue. He couldn’t believe these words were forming inside him. Not as the next strategic move in the building of the Montero empire, either. Not in reaction to what outsiders said about their marriage. No, this was something that had been bubbling in him from the earliest days of their marriage, something he didn’t want to examine too closely because it occupied such a deep cavern inside him.
“Rico?” she prompted.
“With the house almost ready, I keep thinking we should talk about filling more of those rooms.”
Her pupils threatened to swallow her face. “Another baby?”
“I know you wanted to wait.” He let go of her hair and covered th
e hand that went limp against his thigh. He pressed his lips together, bracing himself for rebuff. “If you’re not ready, we can table it, but I wanted to mention it. My relationship with Pia and Cesar—we’re not as close as some, but I value them. I realize many things contribute to the distance between you and your half-siblings, but the age gap is a factor. That’s why I thought sooner than later would benefit Lily.”
He heard his upbringing in the logic of his argument and recognized it as the defense tactic it was. If he kept his feelings firmly out of the discussion, there was no chance they would get trampled on.
Poppy blinked and a fresh tear hit her cheek, diamond bright. “Are you being serious? You want to make a baby with me on purpose?”