“They were. Just like that. Baby is gone and she’s a toddler.” She wiped her damp eyes. “I shouldn’t be so silly about it. Gran kept saying it would happen any day.”
Lily had found his phone amid the stuffed toys and plastic keys. He started to take it from her, but a fierce swell of pride moved his hand to her hair. He faltered briefly then grazed his palm lightly over her fine red hair, downy as a duckling.
She was such a tiny, perfect little human. Recognizing how vulnerable she was made his heart clench in a strange panic. An urge to protect rose in him, but he already knew he wouldn’t be sufficient to the task. Not forever. Things would happen beyond his control. Then what? He had instinctively shied from this depth of responsibility, but here it was, thrust upon him, heavy and unavoidable, yet oddly welcome.
How could he not want to shield such a precious young life? How could he ever blame her for existing?
“You don’t have to impress me, you know,” he told Lily, rueful that he was so button-bursting proud of three little steps.
Lily grinned and held up his phone.
“Thank you,” he said politely and pocketed the item, offering a teething ring in exchange. He shifted his attention to Poppy.
“We both could have handled many things better,” he told her, clearing his voice to steady it while he mentally allowed the cloak of fatherhood to settle more comfortably over his shoulders. “But I will never, ever regard Lily as a mistake.”
* * *
Rico gently transferred Lily into a blue crib that likely belonged to Mateo. Rico had said this darkened penthouse in Madrid was used by any member of the family who happened to have business in the capital.
Poppy carefully tucked blankets around her overtired little girl. The first half of the flight had gone well. Everyone had caught a few hours of sleep, but Lily had begun fussing when turbulence forced her to be strapped back into her seat. By the time she had cried herself out and begun to nod off, they were descending and her ears were popping, upsetting her all over again.
“I think she’s down for the count,” Poppy said with relief as they stepped out of the room.
Rico clicked on the baby monitor and brought it with them into the lounge where he turned on a few lamps. He moved with casual confidence, hardly a wrinkle in his clothes, his eyes heavy-lidded and inscrutable.
“Are you hungry?”
“No. I feel like all I did was eat on the flight.” She crossed her arms and hunched her shoulders, hyperaware that they were alone for the first time since they’d stood under the stars that first night.
They were also married.
She had heard him tell the driver to leave their luggage in his room, but there was a conversation they needed to have before they shared it. She hadn’t figured out yet how to broach it. She wished she could be blasé and sophisticated, but she felt callow and fearful of his reaction. Would he laugh? Look at her with disappointment?
“I...um...wouldn’t mind a shower,” she murmured, more for a chance to be alone and clear her head.
“Do you want company?” His voice lowered, growing thick with sensual invitation.
Her stomach took a rollercoaster dip and swirl while a wave of heat pushed out from her center, leaving her fingers and toes, nipples and scalp all tingling.
She wanted to laugh at how easily he segued into addressing the elephant, but some of her trepidation must have shown. His expression tightened.
“We don’t have to if you’re tired.”
“It’s not that,” she murmured, more wired than tired, still trying to come to terms with everything that had happened in such a whirlwind. Drawing a breath of courage, she said, “I’m not sure what you expect.”
A brief pulse of surprise, then he said stiffly, “I expect this marriage to include a sexual relationship. I’ll never force it, though. And I would normally say a woman doesn’t need an excuse for turning me down, but given Faustina’s reasons, I’d like to understand yours.”
“I’m not turning you down,” she said with a small, nervous smile that wouldn’t stick. “I expected we’d have sex. When I took Lily for her blood test the other day, I left her with the nurse so I could get an IUD.” Sometimes her hair gifted her with the clichéd fiery blushes and now was one of those times. The entire room should have turned bordello red, she glowed so hotly with the admission that she had premeditated having sex with him.
He frowned. “You don’t want more children?”
“Not right away.” Her cheeks hurt, they were scorched so deeply. “This is a lot to get used to, don’t you think? Without bringing a newborn into the mix?”
He tipped his head slightly, acknowledging the point, but a hint of suspicion glinted in his narrowed eyes. Perhaps he saw the rest of the logic that had propelled her decision—a new baby would make it more difficult for her to leave if she had to.
“I want this marriage to work,” she assured him. “But there are things...” Her voice failed her. She cleared her throat. “Things we should discuss before...”
“Health concerns?”