“I want to see her.” He set his shoulders in a way that told her he wasn’t going anywhere until he did.
Behind her, the sound of bowls coming out of the cupboard and being knocked around reassured her that Lily was perfectly fine without eyes on her.
A suffocating feeling sat on her chest and kept a vise around her throat. She wanted him to answer the rest of her question. What was he going to do about this discovery? She wasn’t ready to face the answer.
Playing for time, she strangled out, “How did you find out?”
If they hadn’t been standing so close, she might have missed the way his pupils dilated and his breath seemed to catch as though taking a blow. In the next second, the impression of shock was gone. A fierce, angry light of satisfaction gleamed in his eyes.
“Sorcha saw a photo you posted of a baby who looks like Mateo. I investigated.”
Odd details from the last two weeks fell into place. She dropped her chin in outrage. “That new dad at the day care! I thought he was hitting on me, asking all those questions.”
Rico’s dark brows slammed together. “He came on to you?”
“He said he took Lily’s cup by mistake, but it was an excuse to talk to me.” Poppy was obviously still batting a thousand where her poor judgement of men was concerned.
“He took it for a DNA sample.”
“That is just plain wrong,” she said indignantly.
“I agree that I shouldn’t have to resort to such measures to learn I have a child. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked through clenched teeth.
He had some right to the anger he poured over ice. She acknowledged that. But she wasn’t a villain. Just a stupid girl who’d gotten herself in trouble by the wrong man and had made the best of a difficult situation.
“I didn’t realize I was pregnant until you were married. By then, it was all over the gossip sites that Faustina was also expecting.”
It shouldn’t have been such a blow when she’d read that. His wedding had been called off for a day. Loads of people had a moment of cold feet before they went through with the ceremony. She accepted she was collateral damage to that.
She had been feeling very down on herself by then, though. She ought to have known better than to let herself get carried away. She hadn’t taken any precautions. She had been careless and foolish, believing him when he had told her that he and his fiancée hadn’t been sleeping together.
The whole thing had made her feel so humiliatingly stupid. She had hoped never to have to face him or her gullibility ever again.
So much for that.
And facing him was so hard. He was so hard. A muscle was pulsing in his jaw, but the rest of him was like concrete. Pitiless and unmoved.
“Faustina died a year ago last September,” he said in that gritty tone. “You’ve had ample opportunity to come forward.”
As she recalled the terrible headlines she’d read with morbid anguish, her heart turned inside out with agony for him. She had nursed thoughts every day of telling him he had a child after all, but...
“I’m sorry for your loss.” She truly was. No matter what he’d felt for his wife, losing his child must have been devastating.
His expression stiffened and he recoiled slightly at her words of condolence.
“My grandfather was quite ill,” she continued huskily. “If you recall, that’s why I came home. He passed just before Christmas. Gran needed me. There hasn’t been a right time to shake things up.”
His expression altered slightly as he absorbed that.
She imagined his sorrow to be so much more acute than hers. She mourned a man who had lived a full life and who had passed without pain or regret. They’d held a service that had been a true celebration of his long life.
While Rico’s baby had been cheated of even starting its own.
Rico nodded acceptance of her excuse with only a pained flicker as acknowledgment of what must have been his very personal and intensely painful loss.
Had grief driven him here? Was he trying to replace his lost child with his living one? No. The thought of it agonized her. Lily wasn’t some placeholder for another child. It cracked her heart in half that he might think she could be.
Before she could find words to address that fear, the timer beeped in the kitchen.