Thank you? Christ.
I want to do so much more. I reach over and take her hand in mine. Her fingers are like ice and I don’t want to release them. I want to give her my body heat, my comfort. I want to take away her pain.
The car grumbles, demanding a gear change, and I give her a gentle squeeze before taking my hand away.
My mind turns to Philip. I know the package was delivered this morning—what I don’t know is whether he’ll have opened it. From what I can make out he’s been at the hospital since their grandmother was admitted in the early hours, and it’s likely he’ll still be there now. Which means I run the risk of being seen dropping Coco off, of having our relationship blown.
But it all seems so insignificant now. It doesn’t matter that her grandmother’s death is expected. When it comes to the cold, hard reality of it, life and love come first.
Will Philip see it that way?
Was my package unnecessary?
I navigate the hospital’s one-way system, lookin
g for the drop-off bay, and she turns to me.
‘Park up.’
‘I’ll drop you at the door,’ I say softly. ‘You can call me, and I’ll come and pick you up later.’
Her eyes widen. ‘But—’ She breaks off, shaking her head as she looks away.
‘What is it?’
She doesn’t say anything. I reach over and touch her thigh. ‘Coco...?’
‘I thought...’
She looks back to me, her eyes wavering over my face, trembling with a fresh well of tears.
Shit.
‘Can’t you come with me...please? I don’t want to go in alone. I don’t—’ She breaks off again and hugs her arms around herself. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t ask. Of course you can’t—’
‘I will.’
The words are tight, my heart tighter. I can’t say no to her. Not when she needs me. But Philip will be there...
Fuck Philip. You love her and she needs you.
My jaw pulses and I look to the road, changing direction with carefully controlled force and heading for the car park.
Whatever waits for me on the other side of those doors, I deserve it.
She has to come first.
Always.
But can I warn her?
How do I do that without making this trip all the more devastating?
I look at her, sitting across from me, and her wet smile of gratitude pulls me apart.
‘Look, I’m not sure what’s going to happen when we get in there,’ I try. ‘Your brother... He might... Well, he might say some things about me...about us.’
She flings a hand out and squeezes my leg, her head shaking. ‘I don’t care what Philip has to say. I only care that you’re here, by my side.’