‘My brothers thought it was great, going along for the ride, but it changed them,’ he said tightly. ‘And I couldn’t stand it, I had to get out—that’s when I found Julia and decided to go it alone.’
‘But it wasn’t your brothers’ fault. Don’t you miss them?’
His throat bobbed. ‘While they still perform for the cameras I want nothing to do with them.’
It was a question of trust. She could see it so clearly now. She’d hazard it was the same for his mother too. But still, time had moved on; a lot could happen in ten years, a lot could change. His brothers certainly had, from all she had read, and she wanted him to see that.
‘But your younger brother is hardly part of the show any more. He’s away studying engineering at university.’ She watched him tense up but refused to back down; he had to realise things were different now. ‘And your eldest brother is happily married, by all accounts, and now expecting his first baby. You’re going to be an uncle in a few months.’
His head turned back to her, his eyes narrowed and hard. ‘You really have been doing your research.’
‘Sorry.’ Heat launched into her cheeks. She really had read up on him, far more than her determination to keep her feelings wrapped up should have permitted, but she couldn’t help it. ‘I guess I figured no more surprises was the best way to move forward.’
He looked back to the road, his tone as dead as his body was still. ‘No more surprises.’
He said it as if he agreed with her reasoning. He said it as if it was fine that she would have read all there was to read. That all the horrible things the press had said were above board and solid. She wanted him t
o deny some of it, to pick apart the untruths, anything to paint him as less than bad. And why? So that she could see this as more than it was: a simple fling and two sales.
That he would suddenly morph into her Prince Charming and whisk her off her feet.
That’s not who he is. He never will be. Get back on track. Focus on the sale and the sex. That way you’re safe.
She could almost hear her conscience laughing at her.
* * *
Daniel’s body throbbed with tension. And not from dragging up his past, but from the worry she would soon run a mile.
She knew the worst of it all. And there he was adding to it, telling her things about his past he didn’t even discuss with Julia. Johansson occasionally got a flippant comment, but never anything that ran so deep as all he had told her. And then she’d brought up his brothers, facts he’d been more than aware of and, if he was honest, in denial over. His worry they held his departure against him preventing him from trying to make amends.
He looked to her fingers upon his leg and felt her reassuring heat seep into his jeans.
She’s not running, she’s trying to bring you comfort. After all she’s learned, she’s offering her understanding...
Was it possible that if she could maybe his brothers would too, given the time, given the chance?
‘I worry they won’t forgive me,’ he said, his voice quiet as he fixed his sight ahead. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her turn to face him, her fingers flexing into his thigh.
‘I think, given all you’ve been through, it wouldn’t take much for them to understand why you did what you did.’
He raised his brow in disbelief. ‘How can you be so sure?’
‘Because I do,’ she said, her voice so earnest he wanted to pull the car over and pull her into him. How could she understand him? How could she be so generous with her affections when he’d been so restrained with his own? Affections—did he really think she held such for him? And if she did, then he should be running, doing everything he could to put her at arm’s length, and yet he couldn’t contemplate anything worse. ‘Because I understand why you did it, and they will too.’
A rush of emotion swamped him. She was incredible. How he wished he could be different. How he wished he could open up his heart and pursue the kind of happiness his brother appeared to have found. The happiness he was so sure Johansson and Julia had on the horizon.
The kind of happiness she’d once thought she’d shared with Charles. Fucking Charles—how could the man have had her for five fucking years and done what he did?
Anger rushed his veins. ‘For what it’s worth,’ he said darkly, ‘Charles was a fool. He had it all in you.’
Her eyes shot to his, their sudden brightness screaming volumes, and his gut twisted up. What the fuck are you doing? Saying something so sweeping, so dramatic and so...fucking soft. It screamed of emotions he didn’t feel. Of a desire to commit that absolutely wasn’t there. And yet, out the words had come, from a place he couldn’t control, where his thoughts were on exactly that. How could that man have had her as his own, made a home with her and then played away? It made no sense.
And then it made total sense. It was the way his parents had been, the way Julia’s ex had been. The way...
No, he stopped himself short—it wasn’t how he was. He never committed, never gave false hope, never offered a relationship. He had no interest in monogamy. It wasn’t in his nature.
So why the hell say it?