But where does any of that leave me now?
If the company failure was down to Nate, why would Lucas want to go into business with another Beaumont? Why would he sleep with me?
I don’t want to think of it as some sort of vendetta, but I can’t help it. The rejected eighteen-year-old still inside me can’t believe his sudden turnaround. Get in business with the little sister...get in bed with her.
It makes for the greatest revenge. But...
‘I’ve had ten years to wait for this.’
Surely that shows he cares about me? Not my family, not my business, but me?
I want answers. To explain ten years ago, five years ago. I want the whole damn lot.
And that means going after him.
My phone starts to buzz, along with my watch, and I know it’s Nate again without even looking. I ignore it.
I’m going to finish going through the email. I’m going to get my meetings done for the day. And then I’m going get my head around all of this.
If only it can be as simple as it sounds.
CHAPTER SIX
I POUND THE paving beneath my feet, trying to run her out of my system, to forget her family and the past. Tower Bridge and its array of lights against the night sky make the perfect scene to lose myself and regain peace. And normally it works. But not today.
I’ve had five years to bury the anger the Beaumonts spark in me, the resentment, the betrayal, but it’s still as raw as if it was yesterday.
I’ve done this to myself. I should have stayed away.
There are other products, other investment opportunities—plenty to occupy me. The truth is, when you have money it’s easy to make money—so long as you’re careful. Nate should have remembered that five years ago, instead of taking it upon himself to sign a deal that I’d already warned him against.
No, not warned. Forbidden. Yet he’d broken my trust and done it anyway.
And, hey, presto: today’s mess.
Although I can’t really blame him for what’s happening right now. For her. Life was fine. I wasn’t fulfilled, but I was a damn sight happier than this.
Yes, it would have been easy enough for me to find opportunities elsewhere, but did I? No. I went knocking on her door, telling myself it was for the product.
The reality hits me—winds me, even—and I
double over, my fingers gripping my thighs as I stare unseeingly at the ground.
I went for her.
It’s obvious now. So obvious I can’t believe I didn’t see it in the first place. I told myself it was the instant hit of mutual attraction at the party that blurred the boundaries, but like hell it was.
Idiot. I smack my knees in frustration and take off at a sprint, uncaring that people are looking at me as if I’m crazy.
I am crazy.
Crazy to have reopened this old wound, brought back the past, her, Nate, the family I once belonged to, was loyal to.
I always cited that loyalty as the reason I stopped myself from giving in to the feelings I had for her. Now that loyalty is gone it’s bloody obvious it was an excuse, a handy barrier to stop myself getting too close to someone else.
If my own mother wasn’t able to love me, and my father was never in the picture, how could I expect someone else to? Someone who didn’t have to? That kind of unconditional love doesn’t exist. Eva’s family proved that to me when they booted me out to protect Nate’s arse. Now no one gets that close to me—no one has that kind of power over me.
No one but her, it seems. Fuck.