“How can I help you, Alonzo?”
He stood to pace away from the coffee tables and armchairs. “I’m not good enough to marry Doreen.”
“Why do you think that?”
“She’s dedicated most of her life to improving our community.” Alonzo paused, his back to Father Steven. “She’s been a positive, nurturing force. But in the line of duty, I’ve done things I regret.”
“Like what?”
Alonzo’s shoulders slumped. The priest was going to make him say it. “I’ve killed people.”
There was a beat of silence as though the priest was absorbing Alonzo’s words. “Why have you come to see me? What can I do for you?”
“I’ve felt, the closer we get to our wedding day the more my past comes between Doreen and me.” Alonzo paced again.
“Has Doreen done something to make you feel this way?”
“No, she doesn’t know about that part of my past.” He dragged his hand through his hair. “But every time I think of all the good she’s done and is doing, I feel as though the blood I’ve spilled is coming between us.”
“You committed these acts in defense of others.” Father Steven’s quiet voice didn’t reveal his feelings about Alonzo’s actions.
“That doesn’t make the people any less dead, Father.” Alonzo flexed his shoulders to ease the strain tightening his muscles. What was the priest’s judgment? Did he agree that Alonzo didn’t deserve Doreen? Should he call off their wedding and leave her life?
“The job you chose is a courageous and selfless profession, Alonzo. You put your life in jeopardy to protect us and our community every day.”
“That’s my point, Father.” Alonzo turned toward the priest. “I’m supposed to protect lives, not take them.”
“Ecclesiastes, ‘To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under Heaven.’” Father Steven held Alonzo’s gaze as he recited the verse. “‘A time to kill and a time to heal.’”
“‘A time to break down and a time to build up.’” Alonzo sighed as he concluded the quote. “Doreen’s dedicated her life to building, but my career has been spent breaking down.”
Father Steven leaned forward on his chair, still holding Alonzo’s gaze. “A good man—or woman—doesn’t seek to end someone’s life. But sometimes to protect one life, we’re forced to end another’s.”
Alonzo crossed back to the armchairs and reclaimed his seat. “But do I have the right to bring this kind of darkness into Doreen’s life? Despite my past, am I good enough for her?”
“The only person who can give you an accurate answer to that question is Doreen.” Father Steven sat back on his chair. “Ask her.”
Alonzo drew a deep, bracing breath, then exhaled. The scent of lavender filled his senses. He pushed himself to his feet. “Thanks for your time, Father.”
He shook the priest’s hand again, then turned to leave. The what-ifs plagued him with every step that carried him from the room. What if he never told Doreen about his past? What if he found the courage to tell her about the people he’d killed?
What if, in response to his past, Doreen returned his ring and asked never to see him again?
CHAPTER 24
Books & Bakery was packed Tuesday afternoon. Benita carried her turkey-and-cheddar-on-wheat-bread sandwich to the last empty seat at the food counter. “Welcome home, Quincy. I heard you were in town for Doreen and Alonzo’s wedding.”
Quincy shifted on the bar stool beside her to better meet Benita’s gaze. “And I heard you’re the one keeping the ceremony on schedule.”
Benita glanced around. “Where’s Ramona? Am I taking her seat?”
“No, she’s meeting some friends from the mayor’s office for lunch.” Quincy returned to his roast beef on rye. An empty soup bowl had been shoved to a corner of his tray.
Some of the pleasures of eating at Books & Bakery were the scents. The confection sugar, chocolate, and freshly baked bread coexisted nicely with the vegetables, soups, and coffees.
Benita bit into her sandwich, enjoying the rich taste of homemade bread. As she chewed, her eyes roamed the familiar and not-as-familiar faces around the café. The low murmur of multiple conversations and bubbles of laughter surrounded her. It wasn’t any wonder people flocked here for breakfast, lunch, and snacks: good food, good atmosphere, and great prices.
Benita swallowed her sandwich and turned back to Quincy. “How have you and Ramona settled into Philadelphia? You must love it there.”