He retreated, keeping the distance between them. “You’re suddenly very certain of yourself.”
She dared another step. He tensed as though scenting danger. Wise man. She meant to be dangerous. She meant to crush his fragile scruples and take him as her lover. Her skin tightened with wanton anticipation.
A huff of amusement escaped. “For heaven’s sake, Merrick! You’re jumpy as a cat in a thunderstorm.”
He didn’t smile. “This is no laughing matter.”
“Actually it is. Ever since I arrived, I couldn’t turn around without you breathing down my neck. Now you act like a vicar with a wayward parishioner.”
He turned away and she strained to hear him. “When you ran away last night—”
She grabbed his arm. She braced for rejection, but he remained still, his muscles taut under her touch. “I was a stupid little girl, frightened by what I didn’t understand. Jonas, you told me this week offered me a freedom I’d never know again. It’s taken me too long to see how right you are. Until now, my life has been barren. Don’t send me back into the cold, not without the memory of joy to keep me warm.”
Where on earth did she find the courage to say these things? She’d never spoken like this to anyone. She’d been so busy bolstering her defenses, she hadn’t let Jonas glimpse her soul. Right now, she’d serve up her soul on a platter if he asked. He wasn’t asking and she served up her soul anyway. Her voice thickened with tears. “Don’t make me beg, Jonas.”
He sighed heavily and when he turned toward her this time, she realized something had changed. But still she didn’t see the eagerness she wanted. His face appeared, if anything, sterner. “What if I get you pregnant?”
Her hand tightened on his arm and she resisted the impulse to stamp her foot. What in heaven’s name was wrong with the man? “You weren’t worried about that last night.”
For the first time, she caught a glimmer of rueful humor in his expression. “Last night hunger for your exquisite body turned thought to mush. Right now, I’m still moderately sane. Tell me, beautiful Sidonie, what if you have a child?”
Devil take him. He was a tougher opponent than she’d expected. Tough and smart. If she hoped to prevail, she’d need to be tougher and smarter.
“Roberta and I discussed that,” she said through stiff lips. The Forsythes weren’t a prolific family. Sidonie’s mother produced two daughters from her long marriage. In eight years, Roberta bore only two sons. Odds were if Sidonie submitted to Jonas, she wouldn’t conceive.
Which she knew pinned her hopes to a mere prayer.
He looked unimpressed. “And concocted some harebrained scheme, worthy of your sister.”
“You’re cruel,” she said hoarsely, dropping her hand from his arm and stepping away.
He shook his head. “No, I’m trying to make you see reality, not some addled romantic notion. You were wiser yesterday, amore mio, when you ran away.”
An angry sound emerged from her throat. “If you’re so keen to keep me away, why call me such names?”
His mouth relaxed slightly. “You’re right. It’s not fair. My conversion to man of principle isn’t complete, bella. I’m doing my best.”
Her stare was unflinching. “I liked you better as an unrepentant rake.”
“No, you didn’t. Tell me what you and Roberta cooked up.”
“I’ll live on my legacy somewhere obscure and pose as a widow. It’s the obvious solution if I… if you get me with child.” Her eyes sharpened on his unconcealed disapproval, although she admitted the plan sounded flimsy. “Roberta says there are ways to prevent conception.”
“Does she indeed?”
Her cheeks heated. “Are there?”
“Nothing totally reliable.”
She sucked in an unsteady breath. This was more like haggling over the price of a loaf than entering into four days of sensual abandon. “You needn’t worry.”
He took her hand. It was the first time tonight he’d touched her. Perhaps she made progress after all.
“I’m not worried.” He sounded different, like the man who brought her to shuddering release. The abrupt change left her reeling and not a little wary.
“You’re not?” She sucked in a shaky breath and curled her fingers around his. Now that he’d touched her, she wasn’t letting go until she had to.
“If I get you with child, I want your word you’ll tell me.”