She knew her mouth had fallen open in a slight gape as her eyes left his face and took in the plaster cast on his left foot, but she had never felt so awful in all her life.
She had jumped to the worst possible conclusion, she realised painfully, without considering that there might be a different explanation. And she had objected because he didn’t trust her!
‘I…I’m sorry.’ She raised her eyes back to his tight face as she spoke. ‘I thought—’
‘It’s quite obvious what you thought, Marianne.’ It was icy. ‘And I think your lunch date is getting impatient.’
‘He’s not my lunch date, not in the way you mean anyway,’ she said feverishly. ‘He’s Mrs Polinkski’s son; I work with him.’ She could tell by the look on his face he didn’t believe her.
‘How cosy,’ he snarled savagely.
‘We’re just friends,’ she said desperately. ‘That’s all.’
‘Very good friends, I’d imagine, from the way you were looking at each other,’ he said brusquely. ‘You know he’s crazy about you? But of course you do,’ he added with cynical bitterness.
‘Zeke, listen.’ She didn’t know how to reach him.
‘Have you slept with him?’ he asked in a strange voice.
‘Slept with him?’ She was aghast. ‘Of course I haven’t slept with him.’ How could he ask that. How could he?
‘But he wants you in his bed.’ It was a statement, not a question. ‘Is he part of the freedom you’re asking for, Marianne? A tall, young, blond Adonis willing to fall at your feet in humble adoration?’
The bitterness was so acidic she could taste it, but her angry retort was checked before it left her lips, the recollection of how she had felt last night suddenly very real. Jealousy was like a canker, eating away at everything good and souring even the best of memories with its destructive influence.
She had been jealous of Liliana, and again last night, and she had felt like hell both times. Admittedly she had thought she had good reason, but so did Zeke right now. And she could appreciate his suspicious resentment of Wilmer in the circumstances; that was understandable—normal, even. It was the other side of the coin, his fierce obsession with keeping her utterly to himself, that had been so detrimental to their marriage.
He had called himself unlovable, and she knew the fear he had that she would leave him for new interests or men stemmed from his loveless childhood; she could even understand his forebodings up to a point. But giving in to them—and him—was not the answer, although she was beginning to wonder if there was an answer.
‘Wilmer does want me, yes.’ She bent slightly as she spoke through the taxi window. ‘He’s made that very plain. But he also knows there is no hope at all because I have made that plain. To sleep with another man I would have to love him with all my heart, that’s the way I’m made, and my heart is irrevocably yours. You don’t believe that but it’s the truth. I can’t prove it to you beyond what I’ve said and done already, but if it’s going to take years and years of us living apart until we’re middle-aged or beyond to convince you then you are more of a fool than I thought.
‘I’m not going to not have friends because you see them as a threat, neither am I going to vegetate and lead a monotonous life when I can use my brain to good purpose. You have to accept that for us to have any future together.’ She stared at him pleadingly.
‘And if I can’t?’ Zeke said grimly. Their eyes met and held for some moments before he repeated bitingly, ‘If I can’t, what then?’
‘Then you’ve ruined my life as well as yours,’ she stated fiercely. ‘Think about it, Zeke.’
He had started to say something else when she turned and walked away, but she didn’t check her steps, neither did she glance back towards the parked taxi.
Marianne thought about Zeke and worried about him all the time for the next few days. How bad was the fracture to his ankle? Was he able to sleep? Was he eating enough? He would loathe and detest being anything less than one hundred per cent fit, that was for sure, and patience was definitely not one of his virtues.
Eventually she telephoned Sandra Jenkins, Zeke’s secretary, at home and poured out her concern.
‘He’s fine, Mrs Buchanan, don’t worry,’ Sandra said reassuringly. ‘Like a bear with a sore head, but he’s been like that ever since you two parted,’ she added ruefully.
‘You won’t mention I phoned?’ Marianne entreated.
‘Not if you don’t want me to.’ Sandra sighed, and there was a moment’s silence before the secretary said, her tone tentative, ‘Mrs Buchanan, it’s none of my business, but you do know he thinks the world of you, don’t you? I’ve worked for Mr Buchanan for ten years now, and the girlfriends he had before… Well, let’s just say when he met you I saw a side to him I’d never have dreamt existed. He really loves you.’
‘Thank you, Sandra.’
Marianne’s voice had been husky, and again the secretary hesitated before she said, ‘I hope you both work things out, Mrs Buchanan. I’d hate to see two lovely people lose each other.’
Marianne changed the subject then, asking after Sandra’s family to combat the pain in her heart, and they chatted for a minute or two before ending the call.
‘He really loves you.’ Sandra’s words rang in her head as she made herself a cup of cof
fee. If only it was as simple as that. She wasn’t sure if Zeke loved her too much or not enough. Whatever, the end result was the same. They were separated, and somehow, since Christmas when he had given her the envelope containing the deed to the Bedlows’ property, she was losing the ability to think they would make it.