‘No, that’s understandable. When we’re in this BDSM world, it’s like a more innocent place. I know that sounds insane, but do you see what I mean? We shut the wicked world out and live our deviant dreams in the way we want.’
‘But don’t you get people dressing up as Nazis and whatnot?’
‘Not me personally, no. There are people that do, but not in public scenes.’
‘What about Mr Mysterious?’
‘He’s not a fan of the Nazis, I think it’s safe to say.’
‘Oh, is he Jewish?’
Joss looked away. Bingo. A clue, at last.
‘OK,’ he said, facing me again. ‘He’s not Jewish, but if I tell you, will you stay?’
‘Joss, you must know I will. You must know how much in love with you I am.’
There, I’d said it. I’d given him one painful piece of information, and now it was only fair if he told me his secret.
But my words had completely altered the atmosphere. Instead of naming his lessee, he got up and came to sit beside me and took my hands in his.
‘Darling, I didn’t dare. I could only hope. I don’t deserve it, I know, but I can at least tell you that I feel the same way. I’ll never be able to let you go – not this time, not ever again.’
‘I wish things weren’t so difficult …’
‘You mean financially? We’ll work it out. It doesn’t matter anyway – nothing matters as long as you’re with me.’
‘What about the Hall?’
‘Well, apart from the Hall, of course. But I know we’ll get it back. I know it.’
‘And then?’
‘And then?’ He made a ‘the world is our oyster’ shrugging motion. ‘All our dreams can come true,’ he said vaguely.
‘Not the one about all my teeth falling out, I hope.’
He leaned forwards and kissed me, running the tip of his tongue along my top row of pearly whites.
‘I’ll train as a dentist,’ he whispered. ‘About time I did something useful with my life.’
‘Can this really work out?’ I felt like I’d been shot up in the air and I could either float or plunge.
‘It’s up to us,’ he said. ‘If we want it to, of course it can.’ He kissed me again, then looked at our plates. ‘Now,’ he said. ‘Have you finished?’
‘I think so.’
‘Good. I’ve spent the whole day wearing rubber gloves and fantasising about what I’ll do when I get to turn the tables. That time has come.’
‘Has it now?’
‘Yes, it has. Prepare to be ordered about.’
‘How do I prepare for that?’
He patted the folded apron.
‘You strip and put this on, of course. Oh, there’s a couple of other things …’ He got up and took some dark, shiny stuff out of a drawer.