‘Everything that stood in my way, everything that scared me – it was all in my head. All those fears I had about you losing interest in me, leaving me, wanting to pin me down or imprison me, well, they’ve gone.’
His brow lifts and a brightness returns to him. ‘Really?’
‘Yeah. And the biggest thing is, even if you do leave me or lose interest in me, or whatever, I can’t let fear stop me taking that risk. The risk is worth taking.’
His lip quirks up. He still looks disbelieving. ‘So you’re saying …?’
‘I’m saying that I want to be with you. In our own way, the way we’ve been. With all the fun and … and more than that too.’
‘More?’
I take his hands and laugh up into his face. ‘I love you, you knob.’
‘Well, I love you too, you bitch.’
I pretend to slap him and it turns into a kiss, the two of us clinging to each other, pressing into each other. The bite marks and the bruises are forgotten, his kiss the best analgesic ever. Somewhere in the fog of passion and tongues, our balance goes missing, we stagger drunkenly on the kerbstones and then topple sideways into the shallows of the lake with a huge splash and a scream.
An alarum of quacks and flapping wings surrounds us as we laugh like idiots, unable to get up for falling back down, trying to help each other up with no success at all, until we temporarily give up and huddle together against the chill water, teeth chattering, fingers slimy with pondweed.
From a distance I notice a gang of swans approaching at speed. ‘We have to get out,’ I say to Lloyd with a shiver. ‘Those fuckers are vicious.’
He grabs my arm and manages to haul me to my feet and back onto land.
It’s the very darkest part of the night and, though it’s summer, I am aware of the need to get out of these wet clothes before we succumb to hypothermia.
‘Let’s go.’
I start the run across the grass but he is soon sprinting faster than me, pulling me along so I stumble and whoop with laughter all the way until we get to the hedgerow. It takes a while to locate the broken railing again and, when we do, we are so cold and wet and pleased to see it that we squeeze through without regard for what might be waiting for us in the street beyond.
A police officer is patrolling the pavement and we straighten up, two dripping apparitions, directly in front of her. She halts abruptly and stares, her hand on her extendable baton handle, then she relaxes when she sees we are just night-time revellers, probably a bit happy-drunk but no kind of threat.
‘Evening, officer,’ says Lloyd smoothly, ‘nice night for it.’
She stares for a moment. ‘You know that the park isn’t open at night, don’t you? It’s trespass.’
‘Is it?’ we both say, looking at each other in mock surprise.
‘You know it is. But you look like you have an urgent appointment with a shower, so I’m going to pretend I’ve seen two very bedraggled ghosts tonight and tell you to take care on the way home, OK? Goodnight.’
She walks on and we chorus thanks before running hand in hand across the road and back to the Luxe Noir.
We pause on the bottom step and look up at our dominions; floor after floor of guests paying us for the pleasure of our hospitality. It is our kingdom and we are its monarchs, working in harmony now, day and night.
‘This place,’ I whisper. ‘It’s ours.’
‘Yes,’ says Lloyd, his arm around my shoulder. ‘For as long as we want it.’
We kiss again, a kiss like a baptism, a kiss like the start of a life, expressing infinite forgiveness and infinite hope.
‘Let’s go round the back,’ suggests Lloyd. ‘Don’t want the night staff to see us like this.’
***
It’s the best shower of my life, watching the grey-green muck disappear down the plughole along with the last traces of Chase. It’s all the better for sharing it with Lloyd, who lathers up my hair, soaps my skin and makes extra-specially sure my most intimate parts are thoroughly cleansed.
‘You did it, then?’ he asks, once we are warm and clean and dry and lying on the bed together in bathrobes. ‘You fucked Chase?’
‘Yeah. I thought you might want me to walk out – I thought that might be the challenge. But that would have been too easy. I should have realised.’