Because the man was going to fucking kill me. Every time I looked at him, lust shot through me. Even now, watching him from across the way, all I could think about was that I got to go back to bed with that man later tonight.
It was so improbable. He was so goddamned hot, and after as much liquor as I’d had, I was completely unable to control my desires for him.
I let my eyes flutter shut for a moment, taking in the sounds of the festivities all around me, and when I opened them, Rock was ambling back over to me.
“Look at you,” he said, his eyes traveling up and down my body.
“What about me?” I mumbled.
“You seem like you’re about ready to be on a beach in the sun.”
“But I’m on a hammock, in a big garden, and it’s dark outside.”
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” he said. He took a drink of his own cocktail before setting it on a nearby table. “Now scoot.”
“What?”
“Scoot. Over.”
“We can’t both fit in this thing,” I said. “What’s the weight rating? We don’t know if it can even handle two bodies at once—”
“I don’t see you scooting over,” he said, already leaning onto the side of the hammock.
“Rock!” I protested as the weight of his body sank onto the fabric next to me, and I couldn’t contain a laugh.
“I don’t care what the weight rating for it is, this thing is gigantic, and it’s tied to the biggest tree branches I’ve ever seen in my life. Just give me some room, or I’m going to be directly on top of you.”
“Bet you wouldn’t,” I let slip.
“Wouldn’t what? Get on top of you?”
I nodded. Suddenly it felt hard to form words.
He squeezed my bicep. “Don’t try me,” he said.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means be careful what you wish for, or you might get it,” he said. “I know we’re supposed to be playing the part of lovebirds, but I don’t think we should be literally on top of each other in the middle of a crowded courtyard.”
I snorted, scooting over a little on the hammock. The warmth of his body near mine was intoxicating, especially in the slight chill of the spring night air.
“Today has been awesome,” Rock said once he settled. He was pressed up against the side of me, staring up at the canopy of trees above us.
“Really? You’re not totally freaked out?”
“Not in the slightest,” he said. “I even had a good conversation with Cursehound.”
“Brent? I didn’t know he knew how to have a proper conversation.”
“You’d be surprised,” Rock said. “Apparently he’s organizing a Battle of the Bands event to raise money for charity.”
“What charity?”
Rock grinned. “He doesn’t know yet. But it’s the thought that counts, right?”
“I suppose so.”
Rock turned slightly in the hammock, making the whole thing sway like a boat. He lay on his side now, looking at me. His eyes held a power over me that I couldn’t explain. I felt at home in the warm amber-brown color, like I could trust him forever even though I barely knew him.
I liked the way he looked at me, like I was something special.
“He also asked me how I knew I was gay,” Rock said quietly.
I snorted. “Sorry.”
“What? I didn’t mind.”
“What did you tell him?”
He pulled in a long breath. “I said I didn’t know, really. I told him I never actually thought I was gay, but that one day, I met you, and I knew I wanted to be with you.”
My heart ached a little inside my chest. “That’s really sweet, actually.”
He nodded, adjusting himself a little bit more, and suddenly his hand was on the side of my head, stroking gently.
“I’ve always thought that question was strange,” I said, silently enjoying Rock’s hand on me very, very much.
“Yeah?”
“Definitely. But maybe just because there was never a moment I realized I was gay.”
“Did you just always know?” he asked.
“I guess,” I said. “It was just… natural. I knew I liked guys before I even knew that it wasn’t the default. My crushes were always so innocent. I just wanted to hold guys’ hands. Until I was like, fourteen.”
“That is so fucking adorable, Perry,” he told me. “I was a horn-dog forever.”
I laughed. “Ew. Don’t call it that.”
He shrugged a shoulder. “It is what it is. And it’s not like I ever decided I wasn’t attracted to men. I just always gravitated to women, until now.”
My breath caught. “What do you mean, until now?”
He glanced at me, a moment of hesitation in his eyes before his usual charm came back in full force. “I mean, now we’re a happy, stable couple, aren’t we?”
“Very funny,” I said.
There was a pause in the conversation, and for a while, the sounds of the gathering filled the space between us. Rock was still rhythmically stroking his fingers through my hair, and I was enjoying it far too much. Soon the silence between us was stretching out like a bubble that could pop at any moment.