And that was what broke me. I was trying so hard to keep at least some distance from Liam, even given the circumstances of being naked next to him in the shower.
But I was fucking proud of him.
He turned slowly so that he was facing me. I rested my hand on the side of his face, and I gently stroked my fingers through his wet hair. “You’re doing so fucking well and you don’t even know it, Liam,” I said.
The wave of affection wasn’t going anywhere. I was overcome with how vulnerable he was in this moment. He was purely himself—no filter, no bravado, nothing to hide behind.
I loved it. And there was no fucking way I could take my hands off him now.
“I’m trying,” he said simply, shrugging one shoulder.
His lips parted slightly, glistening in the water. Something kicked loose deep inside me as I saw the exhaustion on his face, how beautiful he was even when he was so tired.
I needed him.
I slowly dipped my head forward and pressed my lips to his. A rush of heat ripped through my body instantly.
He hummed softly and snaked his hands around my hips, coming closer until there was no gap between our skin at all. He opened to me, letting my tongue slide against his. It was strange to feel so possessive and yet so proud at the same time—I was endlessly proud of the man that Liam had become, and yet I still felt a strong urge to protect him that I couldn’t control at all.
Liam might not have been mine anymore, but somewhere deep in my bones, my body still felt like he was. And for the first time in so long, I was done denying it.
12
Liam
Red’s tongue had a way of making me feel alive again. Like I had been fumbling in dark water for so long, and finally I could grab hold of a rope to pull me out of my own depths.
I surrendered to him in an instant.
“You feel so good,” he murmured against my mouth before catching my lower lip gently between his teeth. My cock ached as Red tugged on my lower lip and then released it.
“I’m sorry I ruined your night of celebrations—”
“If you call this ruining my night, I think I’m doing pretty fucking well,” he said, trailing his fingertips down my chest through the rivulets of water.
He was so beautiful. I focused on the dip right where his neck met his collarbone, how strong and soft it looked at the same time, like he could hold me close in the world’s best hug or pin me up against a wall and never let go.
Both of them sounded fucking amazing.
My pulse started racing as Red’s hands moved to graze over my ass. My cock responded immediately, hardening between us and pushing up against his thigh.
“Maybe all you need to feel better is a little bit of this,” he murmured, bringing his hands forward again and gently running them down my cock.
Suddenly I had a weight in my chest again as alarm bells went off inside me. I felt a little panicked, like I didn’t deserve anything he was giving me right now.
“Well, I don’t just want a pity fuck,” I said, lifting my eyebrows.
He furrowed his brow, pulling back a little and fixing his gaze on me.
“I don’t pity fuck anyone, Liam,” he said, his voice suddenly turning very serious. He rested his hands on my hips. “I’ve never pity fucked you. I’ve never pity fucked anybody else. And I’m sure as hell not doing that tonight.”
I felt crazy. I was reverting to my old ways, the knee-jerk reactions that made me feel like nobody as good as him could possibly want me.
“I’m here because I couldn’t think about anything else all night,” he said, brushing his lips over my forehead and pressing small kisses there.
“Because you were worried about me?”
“Because I wanted you. Real fucking badly,” he corrected, his gaze fierce. “I want to watch you lose control again. And I want it to be because of me. I wait around for your messages like a damn fool, because that’s always how I’ve been with you, Liam. You flip some kind of switch inside me that makes me…”
He paused, pulling in a long breath. My mind was reeling.
I wanted to believe it so badly. I was so used to thinking people were going to hurt me, but with Red, I knew deep down I didn’t have to be scared.
“I want you so badly, too,” I said. “You have no fucking idea.”
“You sure about that? Because I’ll buzz off if you need me to,” he said, shaking his head, his eyes dancing between mine. “But I really, really don’t want to.”
He watched me, looking for a signal to proceed.
“Then kiss me again,” I said. I made it sound like a challenge, like I was daring him to kiss me, but in reality I was too shot with adrenaline to move an inch. I felt like I was going to explode hearing the things Red was saying to me.