How long to you think she’ll be here?
The questions and answers are fired so rapidly, I’m not sure I absorb them all. I think about everything that’s happened in the past twenty-four hours.
I think about Dad.
Cam.
Kaiden.
How many doctors in my past told me I was fine? That I was too young to experience the pain I was? How many times would I fall asleep at night crying because I couldn’t move? How many doctors are going to be responsible for the outcome that’s dangling in front of us?
I swallow once Dr. Thorne excuses himself, slipping out the door and leaving us to digest everything.
“I want to s-see Kaiden,” I tell Dad and Cam. It shouldn’t be the first thing out of my mouth, but the words can’t be stopped. I want Kaiden.
“Em,” Cam says softly. “Sweetie, I know he wants to see you too—”
“Please?” My voice cracks as I stare at her with watery eyes until her frown blurs. “I just want to see…him. That’s all…it’s all I’m asking for right now.”
She looks at Dad before nodding.
Dad watches her leave before turning to me, his hand still on mine. He watches the way his rougher, darker skin contrasts my brittle paleness. His hand is twice the size of mine, the warmth of his palm soaking into me.
For the longest time, I don’t think he’s going to say anything. He doesn’t ask me how I’m feeling because that seems pointless. He doesn’t question me over what I’m thinking because he knows I’ll hold back.
In a quiet tone, he says, “There’s a card of a mouse on your nightstand. I saw it when he called us in…” He swallows and takes a deep breath. “He called you mouse once.”
Not knowing what else to do, I nod.
When the door opens again, it’s Kaiden looking wide-eyed right at me. He looks paler than I’ve ever seen, maybe even paler than I am right now if it’s possible. His hair is a mess like I expected, sticking straight up in different directions like he’s been running his fingers through it nonstop.
Dad glances between us. “I guess I’ll leave you two alone then.”
He called you mouse once.
In a blink of an eye, Kaiden is beside me, towering over me, staring down like I’m going to disappear. Am I? Will I?
I lick my lips again.
“I was fucking worried,” he growled, scanning over the wires surrounding me. His eyes dart to the monitor that’s showing my irregular heartbeat before turning back to me. “I was about to risk getting arrested just to see you. Do you know how damn hard it was standing out there while they had you in here?”
“I—”
“The nurses are assholes,” he informs me coolly, sneering at the door. “They kept telling me someone would be out to give me answers, and nobody ever did. Not once did those doors open, Emery.”
Emery. Not Mouse.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pressing my lips together. What else is there to say?
“Mom said…” His nostrils flare. “Mom said that you’re not doing well. Tell it to me straight. What the fuck is going on?”
That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? Right now, my blood is being tested to see how screwed I am. Thorne may have had optimism that we could slow the progression and damage based on the results, but there’s calmness to my stomach that shouldn’t be there and it’s not the medicine making me feel that way.
“Em.” He brushes hair behind my ear and watches me closely, his bottom lip trembling in the slightest way.
“Are you going…to go to M-Maryland still?”
He gapes at me. “What the hell does that have to do with anything? We’re not talking about college right now.”