“Oh my God, Kaiden. Really?”
He turns on the car and blasts the heat before pulling out of his spot. “The guy just rubs me the wrong way. He’s always talking to you.”
“Jealous,” I singsong. “For your information, he was asking what I planned on doing next year. He thinks I should take college courses here for credit.”
“You should,” he agrees simply.
“We’ll see.”
“Stop acting like you won’t be able to.”
“Stop acting like you can predict the future,” I fire back, staring out the window. “It isn’t like I think it’s a bad idea, I just don’t want to commit yet.”
“What do you want to commit to?”
The question takes me by surprise. Why would he even ask me something like that? I want to commit to getting through junior year. It’s all I can think about.
I know that’s not what he means though.
“Are we friends, Kaiden?” My voice is unsure, a tone I’m used to hearing. It just wasn’t when it came to defining us.
The car slows to a stop. “Do you really need to ask that, Mouse?”
My lips part. “Well…” No? “Yeah, I guess. You said you don’t do labels. It’s not like I expect anything. It would just be nice to know that we’re friends, because…”
You’re the only one I have.
“Yeah,” he says softly. “We’re friends.”
I smile and ease into my seat. “Not to get mushy or whatever, but you’re kind of my best friend. Annabel and I talk at school sometimes, but we’ve never exchanged numbers or planned to hangout.”
“So I’m your best friend by default,” he muses, seemingly unfazed.
I reach out and grab his free hand, which rests on the gearshift. “I’ve always considered Lo my best friend. Even all this time because she was willing to love me for who I am.”
He squeezes my hand. “Are you going to make me say it?”
I roll my eyes. “You don’t have to tell me. It’s in the way you accept me despite my problems. Even if you’re annoying about hot English teachers.”
He curses. “You think he’s hot?”
I just grin.
He sighs. “For what it’s worth, you’re my best friend too, Mouse.”
I smile to myself victoriously.
“Still don’t like Nichols though,” he grumbles, before holding my hand in silence all the way home.
The weeks go on without interruption. School, practice, homework, movie nights. I get to witness the first lacrosse game of the season, where Cam does cheer the loudest, and Dad whoops and hollers until I get a headache. Exeter wins the first two games and loses the third one, but that doesn’t deter anyone’s spirit.
On nights when I’m feeling halfway human, I ask Kaiden to show me how to touch him in every way he likes. First with my hands, then my mouth. He always returns the favor with a grin on his face, and looks cocky when I have to cover my face with a pillow as I come.
It’s been over two months since we had sex, and it isn’t like I don’t want to do it again. In fact, not so long ago I thought it’d happen again when I moved wrong over Kaiden and cried out from the pain shooting down my back and hips. He’d grabbed me some pain relievers and covered us both before falling asleep.
On Valentine’s Day, I find chocolate and a card in my locker. The chocolate is some fancy brand I’ve never heard of, and the card has a mouse on it holding a ribbon-wrapped wedge of cheese in its hands. I keep it on my nightstand at home, smiling every time I pass it.
Not long after Valentine’s Day, I woke up to more hair on my pillow. Kaiden didn’t freak out like Mama did, which made me feel a little better. He could tell I wasn’t all right though, because he kissed my cheek and told me it wasn’t a big deal. It was.