Her hands glided up my chest, but then they stopped abruptly. The desire in her eyes immediately disappeared, and a look of pain stretched across her face. That didn’t last long either before she looked angrier than I’d ever seen her. “Asshole.” Without warning, she slapped her palm across my face as hard as she could.
I turned my face slightly with the hit, feeling the redness and sting instantaneously. She hit me hard enough to leave a handprint, I was certain. The action didn’t hurt, but the surprise caught me off guard.
She shoved me in the chest, but I didn’t move because I was too heavy. She shoved me again then gave up and slipped out from underneath me. “Your little whores weren’t enough for you? Then you come home to me and want more? Without even a shower first? You’re a real piece of shit, Conway.”
I got off the couch, my cock still hard because I found her just as arousing when she was angry as when she was happy. “Muse—”
“Don’t call me that,” she hissed. “You’re covered with lipstick marks, you smell like a woman, and you taste like booze.”
I hadn’t considered the places where Cassandra had kissed me. I’d been too busy thinking about Muse even to notice. I could have wiped myself off with a tissue or sprayed on more cologne, but I hadn’t been thinking.
She shook her head, her eyes narrowed in disappointment. “I’ve been waiting around for you all night. You hold me, kiss me, and you spend all day with me. For a moment, it seems like you actually care about me. But then you lie to me and go chase tail when I’m right here. I don’t understand you, Conway. How can you tell me I’m the most desirable woman in the world but then want someone else?”
I didn’t want anyone else. The terrifying truth was becoming more apparent with every passing day.
The disappointment in her eyes was heavy, like she’d never hated me more.
All I had to do was correct her, but I couldn’t. I refused to give this woman anything. I refused to let her think I was faithful to her. If I did…then what would that mean? Where would that lead us? She meant nothing to me, and I had to keep it that way. I was pissed off that I even wanted to tell her the truth.
I didn’t owe her anything.
It needed to stay that way.
“You are just a commodity I paid for, Muse,” I said coldly. “You don’t mean a damn thing to me, and you never will. I will go out and fuck as many women as I want, and you’ll accept that. You’ll spread your legs when I get home and fuck me like always. That’s what I paid for—and you’ll deliver.”
A frigid look stretched over her face. She’d never stared at me that way before. She wasn’t just angry, but disappointed. If she’d had any power, she would have used it against me right then. If she were strong, she’d beat her fists against my chest. She wanted to destroy me in that moment, but knew she had no weapon that could defeat me. She was weak and at my mercy. All she could do was take it. “Be careful what you wish for.”
7
Sapphire
Conway was an enigma.
How could he take time off work to teach me to ride Carbine if he didn’t care about me? How could he sleep with me and chase away my nightmares if I meant nothing to him? How could he kiss me but not anyone else?
Maybe I gave him too much credit.
Maybe he’d been right from the beginning.
He wasn’t evil, but he wasn’t good either.
I knew I wasn’t just upset about his promiscuity. I was upset that I didn’t mean more to him. Living with him every single day forced me to enjoy his company. I enjoyed watching his concentration as he worked, and I enjoyed talking with him over dinner. I even enjoyed the sex. Last time he was in my bed, I asked him to make love to me—and he did. I wasn’t even sure why I asked that. I wasn’t sure why his presence chased away my fear.
But it did.
And knowing he wanted to be with some other woman after the connection we created hurt.
It hurt a lot.
But I wasn’t going to let him hurt me anymore. There wasn’t much I could do about my current situation. I was stuck there for the indefinite future. But I needed to lock away my vulnerability and never let him hurt me again. If he wanted to be with other women, then he couldn’t have all of me.
Not anymore.
I was afraid I would catch something, but there wasn’t much I could do about that either. I just hoped he wore a condom. He didn’t seem like an idiot who wouldn’t.